MALAPROPISMS

Provide the correct word for the malaprop. (e.g., The cafeteria food is not fit for human constipation. Answer: Consumption.)

Freshman level

1. I’m fading into Bolivian.

2. I prefer decapitated coffee.

3. My boyfriend takes me for granite.

Graduate level

4. The sunset had all the colors of the rectum.

5. He died interstate.

6. Stella and Fred said they have a monotonous relationship.

Ph.D. level

7. The only sure way to avoid pregnancy is through obstinance.

8. He was a man of great statue.

9. This action is unparalyzed in the history of the state.

Answers: 1. Oblivion. 2. Decaffeinated. 3. Granted. 4. Spectrum. 5. Intestate. 6. Monogamous. 7. Abstinence. 8. Stature. 9. Unparalleled.

— North America Syndicate