Dear Eric >> My son is using slang terms that have me scratching my head — namely “gyat,” “skibidi” and “sigma.”
I want to stay connected and understand the language of his world, but I feel a bit lost in translation. It seems like these words pop up in every conversation, and I can’t help but feel like I’m missing out on an inside joke.
I want to be the cool parent, so I’d love your insight into what these terms mean and how they’re used. Understanding these phrases could not only help me connect with my son but also save me from some potentially awkward conversations in the future.
— Curious Parent
Dear Parent >> According to my Googling, gyat is an exclamation of surprise, usually regarding someone’s body — not offensive per se, but objectifying. Sigma in slang stands for a lone wolf. And skibidi joins a long line of neologisms that can mean good, bad or dumb depending on the context.
That said, when it comes to vernacular, googling is never going to be your best option, because this is in-community communication. It’s important for teens to have their own way of communicating as they explore the world and develop taste. Perhaps you used slang that puzzled your parents, too.
You can always ask your kid to explain, but the most important thing is clear communication between parent and child, not the parent being in on the joke.
Being thought of as cool is a little bit of a fool’s errand for parents and other adults when coolness is a moving target. That’s OK. You don’t have to be skibidi to be curious about your kid’s life in a way that respects his sometimes-perplexing autonomy.
Dear Eric >> My daughter goes to Catholic school; her best friend who is also Catholic goes to public school. This is the second year in a row her friend had a huge birthday experience/celebration on a day when public school was closed but parochial school was not. My daughter is heartbroken and angry at me that she missed this event, and all the fun photos online are a reminder that she was excluded. Should I speak to the mother and ask her to plan future parties on days when my child, her daughter’s best friend, can also attend?
— Party Pooper
Dear Party Pooper >> Contacting the other mom is a good first step. She may not realize that your daughter isn’t off on the days of the birthday experience, so talking it through could avoid some hurt feelings on all sides.
Depending on what else is on the other family’s schedule, continuing to have the party on the public-school day off may be the best option for them and the rest of the kids who are invited. If so, consider letting your daughter miss a day of school next year. Knowing about the event in advance can help you communicate with her instructors so she’s not being left out educationally or socially.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com.