The Raiders didn’t want to be on HBO’s “Hard Knocks,” and who can blame them?

Ceding control to TV producers, you never know what reality is going to slip through and how you’ll come across.

The Bears have to be grateful they never have been chosen to be put on display this way.

As it turned out, though, the “Hard Knocks” season opener unveiled Tuesday treated the Raiders with kid gloves.

Whatever fears the team had about having secrets revealed from their training camp in California’s Napa Valley wine country were for naught as viewers almost certainly knew more coming in than this hour told them.

The opener burnished the Raiders’ image as caring about their former players and the families of their current ones. If anything, it was a tad dull. Polished but uninteresting.

Here are eight takeaways from the season premiere:

Richie Incognito’s past is incognito: The offensive lineman, viewers were told, is “a talent with a history, some of it ugly.”

Just how ugly was left unsaid.

“Hard Knocks” yadda-yadda-yaddaed the way Incognito used racial slurs to bully a Dolphins teammate and trainer.

It neglected to mention how Incognito, while out of the NFL last year, threatened the staff of a funeral home because he wanted to cut off his dead father’s head.

Incognito in the first episode was just a guy who’s apparently a pal of celebrity chef Guy Fieri and will, for reasons untold, open the season on a two-game suspension. (For the record, the NFL suspended him for violating its personal conduct policy.)

Antonio Brown is out by two feet: The star wide receiver acquired in a trade with the Steelers is hampered by a foot injury.

Now you know it has been reported this is the result of frostbite on the soles of his feet from failing to wear proper footwear during cryogenic therapy.

You also might have seen the pictures, which are disgusting.

“Hard Knocks” doesn’t get into any of this, just that Brown’s injury is keeping him from full participation in camp, which he seemed to come to via hot air balloon.

Phileas Fogg and the Wizard of Oz would be proud.

We understand why Brown didn’t travel on foot. But as long as he was using outmoded forms of transportation, why not horseback?

The neighs have it: In a curious midshow interlude more apt for “The Bachelor,” Johnathan Abram and fellow first-round rookie Clelin Ferrell have the time and energy to go horseback riding and sample grapes.

They even sang a little bit of “Old Town Road.”

So much for the idea that training camp is so draining and demanding that all one wants to do is rest when not on the field, working out, in meetings or being tended to by a trainer.

Maybe coach Jon Gruden should rethink the idea of not pushing his team so hard in the afternoons, an old football tradition he noted in his opening pep talk to players would probably get him incarcerated today.

Never pun on first down: “There’s no whining in football,” narrator Liev Schreiber said early on. “But every August football comes to wine country.”

First of all, there’s plenty of whining in football. About almost everything. All the time. Blown calls. Missed kicks. Suspensions. Lawsuits.

Second of all, that’s terrible wordplay.

Everyone knows it’s windy: It’s almost as if “Hard Knocks” is campaigning to get the Raiders to let down their institutional guard.

“The Autumn Wind,” a poem NFL Films co-founder Steve Sabol wrote for a 1974 production celebrating the Raiders that the organization has embraced, is dutifully recited. Twice.

It concludes: “The Autumn Wind is a Raider/Pillaging just for fun/He’ll knock you ‘round and upside down/And laugh when he’s conquered and won.”

That’s probably no more schmaltzy than vowing not to forget how the 1940s Bears thrilled the nation with their T-formation, but you’re excused if it also reminds you of Judge Smails in the film “Caddyshack,” saying: “It’s easy to grin/When your ship comes in/And you’ve got the stock-market beat ...”?

Speaking of movie reminders …:

If you’re of a certain age, Gruden’s speech about NFL dreams — and nightmares — might have recalled Debbie Allen lecturing young dancers about how “fame costs” in the opening of the TV show “Fame.”

OK, maybe that was just me.

The amazing Johnathan’s act plays well on TV: Abram was the breakout star of episode one from the moment he arrived at the team hotel in his new luxury car with a trunkful of just-purchased junk food.

When Gruden lectures him about how his rough play in practice endangers his teammates, the safety notes it’s not as though he is going to get cut or anything.

Abram is a bit obnoxious teasing quarterback Derek Carr about Carr’s fat contract when Carr is treating the rookies to a meal, but it’s softened by Abram’s naivete about how to pronounce “salmon” on the menu. (Nope. It’s not SAL-mon.)

The runner-up breakout stars are among the youngest on the field: Brown’s young kids stole the show, innocently asking where Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger was and why dad wasn’t participating in drills.