We live in a duplex with a shared front yard. Our neighbors are not taking the stay-at-home seriously (they are in their early 20s). They are still going to friends’ houses every weekend, and (early on) they had co-workers over every night.
Today, they threw a party on our front lawn, where people were standing shoulder to shoulder. I wanted to call the police to break it up, but my fiancé didn’t want to snitch.
I have been trying to stay away from them, but we do share a few spaces, including the entrance and basement laundry.
The few times we talked early on, I talked about how the city we live in was spiking in cases and how the first case was only a few blocks from us, but it fell on deaf ears.
At what point should I ask them to take this seriously — for our health?
Now that they are partying under your nose, you’ll have to give it a try and hope for the best.
My understanding is that because “stay-at-home” orders are being handled differently in various cities and states, the police might not be interested (or legally able) to bust up a party.
You should take rational and commonsense precautions regarding these close neighbors. Wipe shared door handles and any other common point of contact with disinfectant before you touch them. Wash your hands frequently.
Communicate with your neighbors: “Hey, we’re your neighbors and have serious health conditions that make us vulnerable to COVID-19. Could you do us a favor and please be more considerate? As you know, the state is discouraging large gatherings. Having people clustered together on the front lawn is too close for our comfort. We hope you understand and can respect this, until we get the all-clear. After that ... party on!”
They invited me to join them for dinner that evening. These are neighbors who have had many family members drop by for visits and barbecues during the stay-home order.
I was stunned at the invitation, and my first thought was, “Are you crazy?” I struggled with what to say beyond, “No thanks.” I don’t want to sound judgmental.
I also am grappling with a family milestone birthday and graduation party in June in a nearby state. I know through social media that many of my family members have not been taking the virus as seriously as I have.
Everyone expects me to attend. However, I know that I am unwilling to put myself at risk and that I cannot make the trip.
How do you politely turn down invitations to social gatherings during this time of COVID-19 without being judgmental of their choices and alienating friends? A “No, thank you” doesn’t seem to be a good enough response.
I’m trying to figure out the best way to back out without causing friction.
Give your family members advance notice that you won’t be at the event in June. Simply say, “I’m heartsick that I won’t be able to make it to the party. I hope we can FaceTime while you’re all together.”
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