Dear Eric >> A few years ago, I noticed a change in a close friend of more than four decades. She is beloved, kind, supportive and generous and has been a great friend over the decades. Yet, she has become more strident in her opinions, almost to the point of bullying.

She wasn’t always like this. Her husband and I are the main recipients of this behavior — I’ve seen her make fun of her husband in front of other people, but he just shrugs it off. I don’t see her doing this to her other friends and family members.

The last time I saw her, over a month ago, she called me stupid in front of other friends at a group dinner when I politely disagreed with her on a topic and a mutual friend in the group called her out on it.

My friend never apologized to me. This was hurtful, and at this point, I am inclined to distance myself from her, although this is very painful because she has been an important part of my life and I’ve been a loyal friend to her.

— Frustrated Friend

Dear Friend >> Different aspects of our personalities can emerge as we age, so it’s possible that this is a normal, if unfortunate, new side to your friend.

But it’s also possible that it’s health related. Though her husband shrugs it off, it’s worth talking to him about whether he’s noticed any other signs of a problem and how he can help his wife to seek treatment.

With regard to your friendship, however, you should be clear that in order to remain in a relationship, you need an apology, an acknowledgment of the way you feel and a change.

Dear Eric >> I’m a newly published children’s book author and pet advocate. After my book was published, I approached a local shelter informing them I would be donating a portion of book sales to their shelter. In return, they were going to promote my book. I graciously offered to donate 10 of my books for a raffle. They were excited.

The following day I was told due to the number of raffle baskets, there wasn’t any room to hold flyers with my bio or QR codes for my book. I explained, since the event was sold out, this would be a great opportunity to offer the flyers to those who would want to buy one of my books. A portion of the proceeds would be going back to them. I never heard back.

I was upset because I felt they didn’t support me like I was supporting them. I’ve since severed my relationship with them. As far as the proceeds, I sold all the books due to my marketing.

— Upset Author

Dear Author >> Congratulations on your book. I hope this experience doesn’t dampen your excitement. A shelter is not a marketing agency. If you care about the actual work that the shelter does, and want to see it continue, you should make good on your promise to donate. If you were hoping to use the shelter to supplement your sales, you should still make good on your promise because it’s unfair to expect an animal shelter to promote your book with the same energy and consistency that you do.