Q. I am stuck in an awful situation. It started in March when my boyfriend of more than three years broke up with me. I was heartbroken. We lived together and our shared lease was not up for another two months. While still living together, he started seeing someone after a couple of weeks. I didn’t mind because I met someone, too. We’ll call him Joe. Joe seemed to be everything my ex was not. He was caring, loving, supportive, and committed. He and his ex broke up a few months before we met, and we bonded over breakup experiences and shared interests. I fell in love like I never had before, and it seemed he felt the same way. After the lease was up, Joe and I moved in together. After two months of being together. Yes, I know how ridiculous that is. I was so in love, I didn’t even stop to think.

Of course things fell apart after a couple of months. He acted distant, cold, etc. He broke up with me in September. I was heartbroken but I knew things weren’t working. Again, I lived with an ex. The lease does not end until next July and neither of us are financially sound enough to afford the place by ourselves. Looking for a roommate has been extremely unsuccessful in such a small town.

He recently asked me to get back together, claiming he doesn’t love me but still cares about me and wants to start over. I struggled with the idea for a week and agreed. We have been exclusive but rather casual, no commitment, just having a good time. That worked for a little while, but now I’ve become bitter that I am stuck in this situation. He’s distant as usual, but I deal with it because we are no longer in a serious relationship.

I can break things off but it won’t change my living situation. When I bring up my frustration and potential ways to make the situation better, he just shuts down. Now, assuming I can’t physically move away, I have no clue what I should do. I am emotionally drained. And I have nowhere to go. Any thoughts?StuckinOhio

A. I understand that you live in a small town and that finding someone to sublet a room isn’t a simple task. But that doesn’t mean you should stop trying. Your free time should be dedicated to posting ads and seeking out alternatives. You should also talk to your landlord about an early departure. Leases get broken all the time. People move far away for family and jobs. Landlords aren’t shocked by these types of requests.

Also, yes, it’s time to end the relationship. A casual connection probably seemed nice and convenient because of your living situation, but it’s already gone sour. Instead of trying to turn Joe into something he isn’t, use your energy to see friends (or make new ones), watch some good television, and plan for your future. I know it’ll be scary to be alone (that’s why you did this move-in, right?), but it’s a good kind of scary, I promise.

Meredith

READERS RESPOND:

The lease may not permit subletting. Most don’t. Landlords want to be able to screen tenants.HARRYRPITTS

I’m sure the landlord would help to find someone or a couple to take the apartment if asked.MYANSWERIII

First off, break up with him and don’t look back. Look at all options: finding a roommate, breaking the lease, whatever. If you have to stick it out, set clear boundaries and don’t get back together. Whenever this ends, try to get a place by yourself or with a roommate if necessary no matter what wonderful guy you’re crazy in love with at the time. Having a place of your own away from any boyfriend you have will hopefully give you a better look at the relationship.

JT2499

So the first guy who broke up with you was not “caring, loving, supportive, and committed’’ and yet you had to wait until he pulled the plug? You have far greater issues than a broken lease to worry about.

IRONMASK

“I fell in love like I never had before, and it seemed he felt the same way.’’ That’s just a rebound; above and beyond Meredith’s advice, please consider moving more slowly in future relationships. If you find yourself wanting to move in or get engaged after a whirlwind romance, remember these two experiences as a sanity check going forward.SUPREMOR

As Meredith said, try harder to get out. Meanwhile, join a gym: if you spend all your time there, you won’t have to hang with Joe, and you’ll feel more powerful, maybe strong enough to stop moving in with random guys.

BLUEAWNING

You gotta give Joe credit, not everyone can pull off the “I don’t love you but I care about you but . . .’’ line.ELLEEM

He must be really good-looking.

MAXXIEMO

A million years ago I broke up with my live-in GF. We too found it more economical to continue to live together for six months after we broke up. It was uncomfortable but we established some rules we could both accept (such as no new BF/GF at the apartment) to make it tolerable. We both started spending much more time out of the house with friends or work or activities. Create some space and find a way to occupy your time and it will be over before you know it.

FINNFANN

I did sleep on my couch for nearly two years while I was getting divorced. Worst two years of my life. Couldn’t afford to pay for the house and a separate place to live at the same time. Couldn’t sell the place, because it was only half-way renovated and the housing crash just started. And the ex-wife was launching a new career in the lucrative field of massage therapy. Good times. It could have been worse. This all could have happened in Ohio.

SLIM-DOES-BOSTON

Column and comments are edited and reprinted from boston.com/loveletters. Send letters to meredith.goldstein@globe.com.