—M.S.

A: Americans have fallen in love with online dating services, according to Statista, a global data platform. According to a 2024 survey, roughly half (47%) of women using online dating services were victims of a romance scam. These scams steal not only one’s heart but trust, affection, confidence and, very often, money.

Romance scams typically occur slowly, often over a period of weeks or months, just enough time to gain the victim’s trust and build what seems like an intimate connection.

Scammers seem to miraculously have the same interests, experiences and values as the victim. For example, if you have a health problem, the scammer seems to have the same problem with a remedy. If you lost a spouse, so did the scammer. If you love bird watching, the scammer just returned from a bird watching trip. And the list goes on.

Here are some red flags that serve as warning signs, as suggested by AARP.

The wrong-number text: This is when the scammer sends you a text with something like, “Are you coming to the birthday party tonight?” You respond, “You must have the wrong number.” The scammer politely apologizes for the mistake, wishes you a great day, and you end up having a conversation with him or her. That’s the beginning.

Living far away: Scammers often live in another part of the country or world as they run their business, do their charity work or serve in the military. Consequently, they are not available to meet with you in person.

In constant contact: Scammers give you lots of attention, affirming your importance to them. One way they achieve this is to call you daily, the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. This often is called “love bombing.”

Meetings that never occur: For some reason, something always comes up that interferes with a face-to-face date. That might be an alleged important business meeting or a granddaughter’s recital.

Needing emergency money: The scammer has a crisis, and you are the only one who can help with an alleged medical problem, legal situation or business catastrophe. And of course, there always is the commitment to repay.

The promise of wealth: Romance or becoming a mentor is the first step in gaining your trust. It can start with the wrong number text and morph into a cryptocurrency investment fraud promising you money beyond your dreams.

Their industry: According to the FBI, scammers often say they are in the building and construction industries with projects outside the U.S., which makes meeting inconvenient.

The FBI offers a few tips to avoid a romance scam. Here are just a few:

Never send money to anyone you’ve only communicated with online or by text.

Check out the person’s photo and profile.

Be wary if the person tries to isolate you from family and friends or requests inappropriate photos of you.

Be wary if the person asks you to leave the dating site to communicate with you directly, since most dating sites have fraud detection capabilities.

I recently had a conversation with a divorced, 68-year-old woman who met a man on a dating app. She was thrilled to meet someone who had so many similar interests. They both loved music, camping, hiking, painting and more. The more they talked, the more they had in common. The texts were about caring and sharing, talking about family and vacations. He even wrote poems dedicated to her. She thought she had found “the one.” That is, until he was out of town for a problematic business trip and needed a quick $5,000 loan, which he would repay when visiting her on his way home. She became leery and asked why the loan was needed and why that need occurred. He also became suspicious. That’s when the “true love” relationship ended. Note: This woman never spoke with him by phone and never saw a picture of him.

Her advice: “Beware: If it’s too good to be true, it’s too good to be true.” She no longer uses dating apps.

Men also fall prey to romance fraud. But that’s another column.

To file a complaint, go to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov or the Federal Trade Commission at ReportFraud.ftc.gov.

Thank you, M.S., for your important question that helps all of us to become more aware of scams. Stay well and share that gift of kindness.

Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and retirement, with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com. Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her on facebook.com/ SuccessfulAging Community.