Dear Eric >> I have a friend I haven’t spoken to since her small wedding two years ago. I thought we were pretty close friends for 25 years. We shared our ups and downs.

Before her wedding, she told me that it was going to be a small ceremony with only about 30 friends and family. It would be at a restaurant. They planned on paying for everyone and 30 was their limit. I was shocked and hurt when she told me there was no room for me. I always thought we were close.

I offered to pay for my own dinner, but she declined my offer and me. She later texted me pictures of her ceremony as if to include me in this pathetic way. I didn’t respond to the pictures, and we haven’t spoken since.

I always thought she would reach out to me, but she never did.

— Off the Guest List

Dear Guest List >> It seems clear that you have different understandings of the depth of your friendship and the ways that you can show the other how valued they are. She could see your friendship as less close than you do, or she could think that by texting you she was actually including you. And that’s her truth.

Your truth is just as valid, though. You were hurt and part of being in a friendship is listening when a friend says that we’ve hurt them and then making it right. To get closure, I suggest reaching out to clear the air.

Dear Eric >> One of my daughters-in-law has always been easy to offend. It runs in her family, with people being shunned for years. I’ve tried to be loving and caring, but I always come up short.

Eighteen months ago, she had a medical emergency, and our son asked us to come.

While at their home, my daughter-in-law started talking about their finances and asking my opinion about what they should do. I suggested that perhaps they should start planning for the future instead of living in the moment. All seemed fine for a bit. Then came the anger, hurt and all that goes with it.

I realized later that she wanted me to offer to help them out financially. We are retired and we make almost a third of what they bring in.

Now, our son is making overtures on behalf of his wife to just forgive and forget. I have actually enjoyed not having to guard every word I say and all the drama that goes with that. I don’t believe I can trust her any more than I did before.

— No Offense Intended

Dear No Offense >> I see red flags all over the place here. So many flags it looks like the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games. It’s unconscionable that she lied to her child about you; it’s awful that she cut off contact after you declined to give her money; it’s concerning that she’s so quick to take offense. Legitimate offense is one thing, but the way she deploys it seems more manipulative. You’re right to not want to be involved in the manipulation.