Dear Eric >> I am a lesbian in my late 60s. Recently I had a dream of a woman I knew back in the ’70s. I was very taken by her; even though I knew I was gay and confused, I married my boyfriend anyway. But she and I and other friends went on coffee breaks for a couple of years, and she always sat across from me. Sometimes I caught her staring at me and her face would turn red.

Back then I was afraid to approach and ask a woman on a date, as many of us were. Now back to 2025, I am single, and I figure I would look her up and say hi. I saw by multiple websites and media sites that she was not married and never was. What were the chances of that since she was so pretty back then?

So, I phoned her home, and no one picked up, and I left a message. I tried to message her on Facebook, and, to my surprise, I could not message her because she blocked me. That was so strange. What did I do?

So, I drove to where she lived and when she came out of her house, I called out to her. She said she did not know me and I could tell she was lying because she was getting nervous. So, I just dropped the whole thing. I didn’t want to scare her and make her think I was a lunatic.

This really bothers me because I asked a friend of hers about the situation and the friend ghosted me too. What is going on? Cannot get any answers. What is your take on this?

— Later Love

Dear Love >> Something else is going on in the background here. Please let this reconnection go. There’s a version of this scenario that plays out like a movie. But the Facebook block, the personal interaction and your other friend’s response suggest that this plot line is not a shared goal.

No, they don’t suggest it. They’re emphatic.

Some of this behavior is concerning — going to her house, for instance, is a step too far. So, please check your thinking and run ideas by your friends before you do them, in the future.

Some of the energy you wanted to have in the past, but couldn’t because of societal pressures, skewed this interaction in the present. That doesn’t mean you’re unworthy of a connection. You are. This wasn’t the right one and she tried to make that clear by not responding to your phone call. When testing the waters, it’s important to pay attention to nonverbal cues and respect people’s boundaries. In the future, try a cooler approach. The person who is for you will match your energy.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com.