Dear Eric >> I have been fortunate to have met a number of well-known people and visited many locales worldwide, often, due to my business, places where tourists don’t go.

Occasionally, someone in a group I am with mentions reading about a person or place I know something about from personal experience. If I volunteer that I personally am acquainted with said individual or locale, the response is nearly always negative. The conversation dies, the people walk away.

Apparently, I come across as a “been there, done that” type. I, for one, would be happy to gain firsthand knowledge about a person or place, but apparently most others don’t think that way. My response now is to remain silent and on the periphery of such conversations.

‘Lonely Traveler

Dear Traveler >> While this isn’t your intention, I fear your input may strike some as bragging. Travel isn’t equally accessible to everyone. Many travelers love to bring back knowledge and stories, but those who missed the boat may not relish these souvenirs.

When you next find yourself in one of these conversations, take the opportunity to ask those gathered what excites or interests them about an individual or locale.

Let them talk about their own connection. It may not be informed in the same way as yours, but that doesn’t make it less valuable.

Dear Eric >> When I was 16, more than 50 years ago, I had a girlfriend who lived in a nearby city. One day, I brought a joint of marijuana along on a visit. While her parents were away, we smoked it in their garage. Suddenly, we heard a car drive up and stop. In walked her father, a policeman, and her pastor.

That is, they were all the same person. Her father was the police department chaplain. He smelled the smoke, took me down to the police station, and then to the bus station, and told me to never come back to their town again. I didn’t.

I exchanged one card with the girl, a few months later, not really offering much more than vague regret. Now, 50 years later, I ran into her name in the local paper and she is a county judge!

I struggled with alcohol and drugs for a while in my youth, but at age 36 got clean and sober — in part because of a deferred prosecution on a DUI — and I remain so. I was wondering if it would be appropriate for me to drop her a line, letting her know this, and expressing hope that the fallout of our mistake wasn’t too great on her and her family.

— Amends Too Late?

Dear Amends >> Congratulations on your decades of sobriety. I’m happy that you found solutions that worked for you and continue to positively impact your life. I think your former girlfriend, the judge, would be happy to hear about this, as well. An unexpected note from someone from the past who isn’t asking for anything could be a welcome, happy surprise.

Telling her the next chapters of your story and making amends, then, could have a positive, right-sizing effect on both of you.