Dear Abby >> My best friend of 60 years lost her husband 13 years ago. She has one son, who is successful and busy with his young family. They try to include her in various family gatherings, but she always has an excuse as to why she can’t attend — she doesn’t drive at night, doesn’t like their friends, etc.

The truth is, she starts drinking at 2 p.m., and by 4 p.m. she starts sending me rude, hurtful text messages. I have tried ignoring them, not responding, turning off my phone, etc. I know she’s lonely, but she blames everything on everyone else and takes no responsibility for her own actions.

I love her but I can’t take it anymore. I have talked to her about this, and she just laughs. Then that same afternoon, after a few glasses of wine, she throws it back in my face. Please advise.

— Over It in Arizona

Dear Over it >> By now you should have realized that as much as you would like to, you can’t fix what’s wrong with your “best friend.” Only she can do that by finally admitting she has become an alcoholic and resolving to do something about it. The longer you tolerate her abuse, the longer she’ll keep abusing you and herself.

Tell her once and for all that you will no longer allow her to hurt you, and until she demonstrates that she’s dealing with her alcohol problem, you want nothing more to do with her. Then step back and block her calls and any other communication. Friends don’t treat their best friends the way you are being treated, and you do not have to tolerate it.

Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.