You’re never too old to remodel attitude

SUCCESSFUL AGING

Q: I am an 80-year-old widow and have lived in my home for 38 years. Although relatively healthy, I find aging as a wearing down process. My home is also showing it. Towels are frayed, flatware is missing pieces, dishes are chipped and no two glasses are the same. A friend suggested that refurbishing is silly at my age. Her comment didn’t make me feel very positive about being 80. Does it make sense for me to invest in replacing and upgrading at this time of my life?

— N.S.

A: We can’t predict the number of years we have on our planet. So consider eliminating the age factor in your decision. More important is affordability. Yet there is more to your question than a purchase. At the core is the attitude towards one’s own aging and view of the future.

A growing body of research indicates that how we think about aging is as important to our health as a healthy diet, exercise and challenging our brain. Becca Levy, a professor at Yale University’s School of Public Health, has introduced the term stereotype embodiment theory, which suggests that cultural influences lead to internalized attitudes that have a long-term effect on our health.

There’s more. Next Avenue, a public media website with articles aimed at those 50 or older, quotes Levy as saying, “The risk of dementia goes up with people who have absorbed the more negative age stereotypes from their culture, while positive age stereotypes seem to give a person a cognitive advantage over time.” Other research that exposed older adults to negative stereotypes about aging found their performance on memory tests declined. That does not mean a negative attitude about aging causes dementia. Rather it indicates an association between people’s beliefs and their risk for dementia. Clearly how we feel about our own aging is not inconsequential.

Here are some broad influences that can shape those feelings:

The anti-aging movement: Over the past 100 years, we’ve made great advances in research and in our communities that have contributed to our health, overall fitness and well-being. Yet such advances can be overshadowed by the anti-aging movement, which suggests aging is an enemy that should be fought and even eliminated. The Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine is an example of an organization and movement that defy aging. This nonprofit organization has 26,000 members including physicians, nurses, scientists, researchers, governmental officials and members of the general public that represent over 120 nations. The value and impact of this movement, its products and advice continue to be debated among professionals.

Blaming chronological age: It’s easy to attribute feelings of decline exclusively on chronological age, which is just the number of years we have lived. Blaming one’s age is an easy way to disregard the role of exercise, nutrition, having a purpose and staying socially connected. This type of attitude can reduce our sense of responsibility and diminish the role of a healthy lifestyle.

Here is a personal example of using age as an excuse. I was doing an exercise at the fitness center that bothered my hip. I said to the coach, “Just ignore it; it’s just likely due to my age.” He indicated that this clearly was not the case and proceeded to prove it. In repeating the exercise, he had me stretch a band while doing the exercise, which more fully engaged core muscles. You guessed it — no pain. I share this with you, dear readers, to let you know that even a columnist on Successful Aging falls into the trap of “It’s just my age.”

The environment: We continue to live in a youth culture. Although movies now include older stars such as Glenn Close, Dick Van Dyke and Diane Keaton, most major roles go to younger folks. Then there is the workplace. Although illegal, age discrimination is real. According to AARP, 2 out of 3 workers between ages 45 and 74 say they have seen or experienced age discrimination at work. For high-tech industries, the chances are even higher.

Now, back to your question: Consider forgetting your chronological age and the advice from your friend. Think more about how well you function and the type of environment that makes you feel good. If you can afford it, spruce up your home. Then invite your friend over for tea to enjoy your new dishes.

Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and retirement, with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com. Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her at facebook.com/SuccessfulAging Community.