Packers at Vikings (-1½)

It’s the rare late-season Border Battle where these NFC North titans have realistic title aspirations. Both teams are entertaining dreams of a Super Bowl championship, a trip to Disney World and a visit to the White House to meet President Musk.

Pick: Vikings by 3

Jets at Bills (-9½)

Strip-mall favorite Party City announced that it is closing down after nearly four decades. They decided to shut ‘er down after they realized it would be at least another four decades before they’d be able to unload any Jets championship celebration decorations.

Pick: Bills by 11

Lions at 49ers (+3½)

Detroit pulled a fast one against the Bears last week by faking a fumble and throwing a touchdown pass on a play they called “Stumble Bum.” Someone hasn’t been suckered that badly in Chicago since the last 18 mayoral elections.

Pick: Lions by 7

Falcons at Commanders (-4½)

Former Falcons quarterback Michael Vick last week was named coach at Norfolk State. School officials decided that Vick should lead the Spartans after religiously avoiding any news reports about him from 2007 through 2010.

Pick: Commanders by 3

Dolphins at Browns (+6½)

Dorian Thompson-Robinson failed miserably in his first start of the season after replacing Jameis Winston. Statisticians at Pro Football Focus report it’s the worst performance by a Cleveland quarterback in at least a week.

Pick: Dolphins by 7

Cowboys at Eagles (-9½)

Former Eagles running back LeSean McCoy raised eyebrows this week by claiming that Philly QB Jalen Hurts will miss Sunday’s game because of the concussion protocol. This hot take led millions of Philadelphians to hit up Google to find out who the (expletive) is LeSean McCoy.

Pick: Eagles by 7

Raiders at Saints (-1½)

Las Vegas coach Antonio Pierce dismissed online fretting that the Raiders’ victory over Jacksonville last Sunday blew their shot at the No. 1 draft pick by saying, “None of that (excrement) matters to us.” A bold statement by the (excrement) coach of an (excrement) franchise.

Pick: Raiders by 7

Colts at Giants (+7½)

Colts RB Jonathan Taylor, atoning for his faux pas of the previous week, held the football tightly in scoring three touchdowns in last week’s win over Tennessee. He should do the same this week against a team that hasn’t learned from any of its mistakes over the past decade.

Pick: Colts by 17

Other games

Titans at Jaguars (even):

Pick: Jaguars by 3

Panthers at Buccaneers (-7½):

Pick: Buccaneers by 3

Record

Week 16

12-4 straight up

10-6 vs. spread

Season

166-74 straight up (.692)

135-105 vs. spread (.563)

All-time (2003-24)

3797-2094-14

straight up (.645)

2895-2866-144

vs. spread (.503)

You can hear Kevin Cusick on Wednesdays on Bob Sansevere’s “BS Show” podcast on iTunes. You can follow Kevin on Twitter — @theloopnow. He can be reached at kcusick@pioneerpress.com.