Dear readers, this is a reprint from many years ago but apropos of Thanksgiving. Wishing you a wonderful holiday with family and friends!

Raising the question of guardianship over Thanksgiving dinner seemed like a good idea at the moment, but then I caught a glimpse of the grimace on my husband’s face.

Oops. Is the question of who would act as guardian of their children should something happen to my 30-year-old nephew and his wife one of those “taboo” subjects, like politics and religion?

Many years ago, I committed this faux pas and, once the question was out of my mouth, I couldn’t just “unsay” it. There it hung, in the air above the table, amid silence. My husband asked for more sweet potato soufflé, but no one moved. Twilight Zone — time seemed to stand still.

Finally, my nephew, Eddie, said, “Well, I think that would be the godparents, right?” Ha! I was right, not only had they thought about it, but they had made assumptions — incorrect assumptions — but at least they had considered the issue, so a meaningful discussion ensued.

There are two legal documents that young parents must have regardless of what their “estate” may consist of. An Advance Health Care Directive — the “pull the plug” document needed in a health emergency situation is absolutely necessary for everyone and a copy of the document should be given to the named agent, your doctor and to the local hospital. The second document all young parents must have is a will. A Last Will and Testament is vital for young parents because this document, should something happen to the parents, names the guardian of minor children.

My nephew and his wife may have lovely godparents who they have identified as a suitable family for their children should something happen to them. However, unless that wonderful couple is identified in a will as the named guardians, chances are that little Tyler and Mila would end up with someone else and that someone else may not necessarily be the best choice — at least in the eyes of my nephew and his wife.

When a minor loses their parents, there is never a pat answer for “Who gets the baby?” Someone will need to file a petition with the court for legal guardianship. To have standing to seek guardianship you must be named in a will as a guardian or be a relative of the child. Grandparents, aunts and uncles of the minor child all have standing to seek guardianship.

In my nephew’s situation and absent a will naming guardians, there would surely be a war between the grandparents on both sides of my nephew’s family for custody of kids. His wife’s relatives live in South America but are still great people and close with the kids. My sister is hugely involved in their lives and would certainly want custody and guardianship. The funds spent on legal fees would not be the biggest tragedy, the “not knowing” would.

Both grandparents would feel obligated to seek custody because they both would truly believe that they are the better family for the children.

Both grandparents would also most likely think that their child would have wanted them to be the guardians.

Such a battle may rage on and the “losing” grandparents could be forever unhappy. They might continue to raise and reraise objections resulting in ongoing legal action for years. The grandkids could be brought into the fray all in the midst of the grief and confusion of losing their parents. Young parents, at the very least, sign a will naming guardians. It is easy, not expensive and is your duty as a new parent.

This column originally ran in 2013 and, all these years later, I am happy to report that Eddie and his wife are still raising their children and, thankfully, still join us for holiday dinners.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Liza Horvath has over 30 years of experience in the estate planning ,trust and banking fields and is the president of Monterey Trust Management, a financial and trust management company. This is not intended to be legal or tax advice. If you have a questions call (831) 646-5262 or email liza@montereytrust.com