Dear Eric: I am a 62-year-old woman who recently relocated to her hometown in the Midwest from the East Coast, after 40 years. I have a wonderful network of friends here, whom I’ve known practically my entire life. I’m happier than I could have imagined with my decision to move here.

Something that has become apparent is, while I have a deep affection and love for these friends, I don’t have that much in common with them. This was not as apparent over the five decades that we would visit.

I’m often disappointed in some of the attitudes that my friends have, and I can be quite judgmental about their views.

All of these friends are married and have children. I, on the other hand, am very content in my decision to divorce after a brief but happy marriage and not procreate. I am often quite judgmental of their views and sometimes find their stereotyping offensive, at best. Do you have any suggestions how I might be less judgmental?

— Feeling Judgmental

Dear Feeling: Even though you’ve known your friends for so long, it’ll be helpful to think of these relationships as new. As you noted, a lot can be ignored over a short visit. But now that you’re local, you have the opportunity to figure out how much interaction works for you. Part of your judgment is coming from interacting too much. Some lifelong friends are also “every now and then” friends.

This involves acceptance. You know where they stand on certain things and, as long as those issues aren’t dangerous or morally unacceptable to you, you have the option of saying “I don’t love this part of my friend’s personality, but I do like my friend. Since I can’t change them, I’m going to acknowledge my own need to put space between us in order to keep things pleasant.”

Go in knowing what feels conversationally off-limits to you, and work on cultivating other friendships that align with your values as a counterbalance.

Dear Eric: My friend fell on hard times and couldn’t afford his condo after retiring. We are both seniors and friends for a long time. I am financially secure; I’m also disabled and older than he is. He asked if he could live with me and in return help with things I have difficulty with. I have a live-in caregiver that lives separate from the main house. For years I have enjoyed living alone and was hesitant about taking him in. I finally relented.

He does help me, so does my caregiver and eventually I will need two people, just not now. My friend is chaotic. He disrupts my morning, there is plenty of area for us to not be on top of one another, but he needs entertainment, and I seem to be the provider for it. I’ve asked, told and even yelled for him to find something to do while I enjoy the morning. He stops but within a few days the same problem occurs. Is there a solution?

— Hectic Housemate

Dear Housemate: As with any living arrangement, if it’s not working out, then it’s time for one of you (him) to find a different place to live.

Have a “state of the friendship” conversation in which you can calmly but clearly lay out the issues as you see them and either present him with an option or present him with a decision you’ve made.

Send questions to eric@askingeric.com.