Dear Abby >> I have suspected for many years that my son is gay. I don’t understand why he would feel he can’t talk to me about his relationships. I would love him regardless. Everything was fine when his father and I lived hundreds of miles away, but when I mentioned we might move closer, my son got very upset and made it clear that he didn’t want it to happen. At the time, I didn’t understand why.

We moved closer anyway, and now there’s an invisible curtain between us. His dad is disabled. I’m his caretaker, which can be very stressful at times, but I do everything I can to take care of myself emotionally and physically so I can do it right.

My husband’s dad turned out to be gay and divorced his mom. My husband is still angry at his father, which I understand. I suspect that may be one reason our son is distant. Several of his contemporaries (both male and female) have mentioned their suspicions to me. I love my son and want to be closer. I have contacted PFLAG for assistance. Can you provide me with any insight?

— Trying in Virginia

Dear Trying >> IF your son is gay (and he may NOT be), it is understandable that he would stay away from his possibly homophobic father. I find it strange that any of your son’s friends would make unsolicited comments to you concerning their “suspicions” about his sexual orientation. You were wise to reach out to PFLAG for information. It’s a respected resource that I have mentioned in my column many times. But I can’t help wondering why you moved closer to your son despite him indicating that he didn’t want it. It may be time to give him the space to live his life in private, and because you need emotional support, seek it elsewhere.

Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.