Dear Eric >> When my only son and his wife got married and had kids, I was informed that Christmas Day would just be for them to celebrate. I said OK.

For decades, I have given my son and his family (wife and two kids) really nice gifts for Christmas. We are talking about hundreds of dollars. For a while, I would receive a small gift, such as a bottle of homemade vanilla, a rose-scented tin of salve made by a friend of the wife or a coffee cup or some such as a gift from the family. Same with my birthday. I have never received a gift from the grandkids.

Last year, I let them know I would no longer be “exchanging” gifts with the parents but gifts to the grandkids (who are now teenagers with jobs) will continue. That year, I got them electronics and hoodies. I got nothing from anyone. Not even an acknowledgement from the kids. I have always had to deliver the gifts or call to see if they received them. This year, it is only going to be a Christmas card. Am I being overly sensitive?

— Empty Stocking

Dear Stocking >> No, you are not being overly sensitive. Every family has their own traditions and needs. And no one is obligated to give — or accept — a gift. But it sure does make me sad that your desire to make this holiday special isn’t being reciprocated.

Part of it may be a misalignment of expectations I’m curious if your son and daughter-in-law have different values or wants around gifting that are either not being expressed or not being heard. They should tell you clearly.

Similarly, when you decided to stop giving gifts to the adults, I’m curious if your expectations were that your son would realize that you weren’t getting what you wanted and make a change.

I suspect that what you’re craving is connection — and perhaps an invitation to the family Christmas. It makes sense that you’d try to show your love from a distance through gift-giving and it makes sense that it would hurt not to have it reciprocated. If you’d like to be invited or would like to find an alternate way of celebrating and being together, that’s a great gift to ask for.

Dear Eric >> I was riding my bicycle when, unbeknownst to me, my wallet fell out of my pocket. My driver’s license, credit cards and about $200 in cash were in the wallet. Later that day I received a telephone call from a cyclist who found my wallet on his ride and told me that I could come over to pick it up. What, if any, reward would be appropriate? I gave a $30 bottle of wine.

— Grateful Cyclist

Dear Cyclist >> Etiquette experts agree that the amount of a reward in situations like this is really up to you. If you don’t have cash to spare, a gift or some other gesture is perfectly fine. So, the bottle of wine you gave works. My only suggestion, however, would be that, if this ever happens again, you check with the recipient to make sure that they drink wine.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com.