DEAR ABBY >> I haven’t had a holiday with my grown daughter, “Charly,” since she left the state 12 years ago. When she came out as a lesbian, I wasn’t very accepting and didn’t handle it well. I have since apologized.

Charly and her partner refuse to visit here unless I allow them to share the same bed in my house. I say they can’t tell me what to do in my own home, just as I can’t tell them what to do in theirs. I stayed with them once, and they slept in the same bed. Now they no longer invite me to stay there. Charly told me her partner is uncomfortable with anyone staying there.

I haven’t spoken to my daughter about their relationship in many years. My heart is broken. I don’t get any holidays with them, but her partner’s parents are there every year and live in the next neighborhood. I don’t understand. Any suggestions?

— Missing Her in Texas

DEAR MISSING HER >> I do have one. If the three of you can decide to be civil with each other during a visit, tell your daughter you would be willing to stay in a hotel while you’re there. Frankly, it might be more comfortable for everyone if they agree to it.

DEAR ABBY >> I was married for 19 years. We are divorced and have no contact. Divorce was a good choice. Now, two years later, I am in love with a new man whom I’ll call “Grayson.”

Grayson is gentle and loving in every respect. We both work. We have talked about marriage. I have met his family, and I was easily accepted. Is this fate, destiny, and should I say yes?

— Struggling with Loving a Man

DEAR STRUGGLING >> Let me advise you that you and Grayson are in the honeymoon phase of your relationship. It’s a little early to be talking about marriage. Whether this is fate or destiny, I can’t opine. As to whether you should say yes, assuming he has proposed, you would be wise to have a LONG engagement.

Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.