Dear Carolyn: I am the last of my hometown girl group not married with children. Over the last several years, they have become distant due to family life and their obligations. On average I’ll get on the phone with each of them once a quarter — when they don’t cancel due to their kids, being tired or forgetting, which happens about half the time. I stay involved by going to their kids’ birthday parties, sending small presents for occasions and checking in over text periodically.

Due to this, I have begun to keep bigger things to myself. I haven’t told any of them that I recently had early stage cancer surgery. They also don’t seem to have an interest or follow up on the things I’m doing. I’ve learned to balance the joy of seeing them have families with the grief of losing the closeness we all once had.

While I know these friends have always wanted children, I have consistently expressed that I would also be fulfilled if I never became a mother.

Just this year, my job benefits started covering one egg-freezing cycle. I told one of my hometown friends I was going to go through this process. This friend expressed great enthusiasm over this “new development” and started asking all types of questions. Within days the rest of the group, unprompted by me, individually reached out to connect.

While I appreciate their support, I feel bothered by their enthusiasm. For one, it means they actually do have the space to be supportive and enthusiastic about the things going on in my life. Secondly, it hurts that they have never given the things that really matter to me this type of attention. And third, it feels like they are taking this as a sign that I am joining them in their motherhood and marriage journeys when I have said repeatedly that I’m all right if neither ever happens to me.

Do I call them out? I’m so sad this is getting more attention than anything in my life over the past decade. Especially now that I see it doesn’t have to take weeks to get a response.

— Friendships Gone Cold

Friendships Gone Cold: “Call them out” for what, though?

They haven’t been good friends to you, that’s obvious. I’d be surprised and hurt, too, in your position.

You were able to reanimate their interest in you with just the hint of a whiff of a thought about motherhood. These aren’t deeply bonded friends; they’re friends of common interest.

Truth is, only the rarest friends show an interest in our interests. Friends of proximity, well, those are most of our friends. And that’s usually okay.I doubt, though, anyone meant you harm. Emptying nests may eventually put you and your hometownies back into something like proximity, if you want that. I’m sorry they’ve so let you down. Email Carolyn at tellme@washpost.com.