Dear Abby >> My husband and I have been happily married for 12 years. We have a beautiful family — a 12-year-old daughter and a 10-year-old son. My husband is not close with his side of the family. We are very close to mine. My husband has a brother my kids have never met. He has two great-nieces and one great-nephew whom none of us have met. He does maintain a relationship with his parents. They usually visit once a year, as we live out of state.

When my husband and I wed, we were in our 30s, we both had established careers, owned our own homes and lived complete lives. I kept my last name. My husband said he would talk to his parents about it because I had a feeling they would not approve. Fast-forward to the present: They always address my mail to “Mrs. Bob Jones.” I find this hurtful. It’s usually a birthday card, but it still feels bad.

Am I a terrible person? I have asked my husband to talk to them about it, but he refuses. He thinks I need to let it go. But it’s hard to feel love and appreciation for people who don’t accept me at a basic level. What do you think?

— Wrong Name in Texas

Dear Wrong name >> You obviously don’t have a close relationship with your in-laws, and I’m sure there is more than one reason for it. If you raise the issue of how the envelope is addressed, it will likely drive the wedge deeper between you and them, which is why I agree with your husband. Let it go. However, because seeing it grates on you, feel free to toss it in the circular file as you would any other piece of junk mail.

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