As only a part-time luddite, I am nevertheless head-in-the-sand when it comes to AI. That’s artificial intelligence for those who are in full-time denial or willfully ignorant.

It feels like we began hearing about AI only about a week ago and, seemingly overnight, we’re pedal-to-the-metal into a new frontier that promises massive job losses and other transformations.

And we’re supposed to be excited?

The Luddites, members of a 19th-century movement of English textile workers, opposed automated machinery for fear of job loss and lower pay. These rogue paranoiacs were followers of “Ned Ludd,” a weaver and mythical leader whose name was used when people would threaten mill owners and government officials in correspondence.

Imagine their equivalent response to AI.

Hardly anything gets done these days without AI “assistance.” Our old research standby, Google, now often leads with an AI-generated response. But how reliable is it? When a friend recently quoted AI to answer a question, I was quick to note that AI should be considered a starting point and not nearly what journalism requires.

But AI is catching up faster than you can say “Qatar,” and is predicted to reach human-level efficacy in the frightfully near future — which is why AI is all the talk in business circles. CEOs and other leaders are hustling to gear up lest they and their industries get left behind.

What this means was the subject of a recent post by Axios co-founder Jim VandeHei. He issued an Inigo Montoya-esque warning to other CEOs: Get on board or prepare to die. Axios is already urging its employees to spend at least 10% of each day interacting with AI. Several platforms are available free of charge (for now) that anyone can access and befriend, if that’s the kind of person you are.

We’re all that kind of person, whether we want to be or not. I previously wrote about my obnoxious car, which talks to me unsolicited and drives me slightly batty. But she’s beginning to learn my ways, I’ve noticed, and is adapting to my conversational boundaries. As in, I’ll talk to myself, and you kindly mind your own business. Realistically, though, I have to learn to behave around AI or, something.

I have no intention of retiring — ever — and am reasonably confident that AI won’t take my job. Thus far, I’m unimpressed with its writing abilities. But if my car can learn my behavioral preferences, might AI eventually master snark, sarcasm and irreverence? It could be entertaining. But would people really want to read machine-generated opinions?

Where is our legendary weaver? I know. We could name our movement “The Unwilling” after George Will, who, though real, is far more intelligent than any AI I’ve come across. I once asked him what it was like to be the gold standard of column writing and he said, “It’s like being the tallest building in Topeka.” Appropriately insulted, I admired his rhythm. Didn’t miss a beat.

Will’s job is undoubtedly secure. How could AI ever produce columns with his dry wit and wry contempt? But I suspect Will is all over AI if only because a doctor of philosophy, which he is, would be intellectually incapable of ignoring it. Moreover, older Americans, surprisingly, are embracing AI faster than younger ones. Jared Spataro, writing in 2023 for Fortune, reported that 65% of Gen Z employees say they’re inadequately skilled for the AI era, compared with 50% of baby boomers. Spataro himself uses AI as an assistant.

To make the most of it, he recommends assigning it complex, nuanced tasks by being specific with requests. For example, Spataro has asked AI to “prioritize my tasks based on what’s top of mind for me today, analyzing options presented in a meeting I missed and recommending a decision, and brainstorming creative new names for an upcoming product feature.”

This got my attention. Think of the money I could save with an AI assistant instead of a person. But would she go to the post office for me? Would she routinely make me laugh with clever reposts? Would she use her 6-foot-1 frame to reach high places and her 24-year-old hands to open bottles for me? Would she always greet me with a smile no matter my mood?

Nope. And Serena is worth every cent I pay her. Which is why I’m optimistic that AI will be useful but never better than a fellow human being. Notwithstanding ethical concerns — data privacy for one — I’m looking forward to magical advances in medicine, risk management analytics and, of course, better iPhones.

And to writing my own columns, thank you very much.

Kathleen Parker’s email address is kathleenparker@washpost.com.