Dear Eric >> My cousin (more like a sister) has been making some extremely rash and concerning choices over the last year. After she had her second baby, she left her husband and started seeing a series of borderline-abusive men. She is now in the process of signing over full custody of her children to her ex-husband and is impulsively buying a house out of state.

The part that is truly challenging is that she is unwilling to accept anything less than “full support” from her family and friends.

She has completely cut off her sister, even to the point of not attending her wedding, all because she expressed that maybe it was time for her to get some help with her mental health. She has not spoken to her mother in months either.

I don’t want to cut her off, because I think she genuinely does need help and is experiencing something very challenging. But I honestly think she is a danger to herself. If I say as much, she will cut me off too. Should I stay in her life, so I can help when she inevitably needs it? Or do I need to take a harsher stance with regard to enabling her behavior?

— Confused Cousin

Dear Cousin >> I know this is a frightening and painful position to be in; I’m sorry. If you can, try to stay in her life, but with strong internal boundaries. You don’t have to cosign her behavior, but she needs someone who cares about her who can ask the right questions, listen to her and help keep her safe to the best of your ability. It’s not too early to reach out to the 988 Lifeline by dialing or texting 988. A Lifeline counselor can connect you with local resources and help specific to your cousin’s situation.

You’ll also want to continue talking with her sister and her mother about her; she’ll need a strong network of care, even if she’s refusing to engage with them right now. And you’ll need support, too, as this is surely bringing up hard feelings for you. Please take care of yourself, too; talk to a friend or loved one about what you’re experiencing.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com