Dear Eric >> My husband had Alzheimer’s and spent his last couple of years in memory care in a retirement community where many friends live. We had been very close to these folks in the past, and my husband remained so delighted to see them, even if he couldn’t remember names and events.

They visited seldom or not at all, although you could throw a stone from their homes to his apartment. Since he died several months ago, I have not heard from them. I know how tough it is to see your friends decline, and to be with your friends as they grieve. Friendships are so precious to me, but I also know that friendships can change over time.

I now find myself struggling with feelings of resentment, which I don’t like, and wondering whether I overestimated our importance to these people. I have still been part of a dinner group with the wives of some of these couples, but it feels so empty now that I’d like to “resign.” Am I just being cranky, or the opposite — too slow to see the handwriting on the wall?

— Left Alone Friend

Dear Friend >> It’s not crankiness; it’s a reasonable response to being let down by your friends. It’s clear from your letter that you’ve given these people grace. And I’m sorry that they still didn’t show up in the way that you needed them to.

Resignation for your own emotional well-being is fine. Protect yourself and your heart. You may, however, want to first talk one-on-one with a friend or two. Let them know how you feel and give them a chance to make amends.

Dear Eric >> My mother-in-law loves quirky Christmas ornaments. Each year she gets my husband and I each at least one new ornament.

My problem is that I love uniform ornaments and decorations. I want everything to match. I have the perfect set for our Christmas tree. I know she gets us these out of love, but how can I kindly ask her to stop? Or would it be terrible if I had a separate, smaller Christmas tree just for these ornaments?

— Ornament Grinch

Dear Ornament >> You have come to the right place! I have such a long history of Grinch-esque ornament preferences that I’m banned from Whoville.

A “Mom’s Christmas Tree” is a good compromise and can even start a lovely new tradition. Asking her to stop is likely to result in bruised feelings, as is getting into a long conversation about arboreal aesthetics. Accept that these ornaments come from a heartfelt place and give them a heartfelt place in your house.

I’m curious what you’ve been doing with the ornaments thus far. If you’ve been begrudgingly adding them to your uniform tree, it might seem like a demotion to move them. A simple conversation might help smooth things over. But a tree where all of her gifts to you can be displayed is a lovingly festive gesture.