It’s 6 p.m. You’ve just collapsed onto the couch after another day of meetings, errands and endless emails. Your partner asks, “How was your day?” and your mind draws a blank. Despite living a full life, the days seem to blur together in shades of grey — not particularly bad, but not memorable either.

Whether it’s being over-busy, under-inspired, or simply managing the background stress of our lives and the world around us, it’s easy to miss the moments that could bring color to our days.

I witnessed this with a client who had made a big lifestyle change and was struggling to feel happiness or enjoyment. “The things I used to like, I just don’t do much of anymore. And when I do, they just aren’t that exciting or enjoyable,” he said. “I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried different hobbies, but nothing really seems to make me happy.”

As we explored possibilities, starting with taking small actions and creating more space for things that might spark joy for him. But, this was the gamechanger: savoring small, positive experiences and emotions.

When he started to mindfully notice times he spent with his friends or hiking or watching his kids’ baseball games, he felt his enjoyment increase. As we closed up coaching, he named savoring positive moments as the most important takeaway that shifted his experience, helping him enjoy his life again.

Research shows that folks who savor positive emotions experience measurable physiological and neurological effects. The practice can reduce cortisol (the stress hormone), trigger dopamine and endorphins to release and activate the brain’s rewards center. Not only does that increase our enjoyment in the moment, but it impacts which memories stick with us long-term and can help rewire our brains over time.

I want to be clear: savoring positive emotions isn’t about ignoring difficult feelings; it’s about intentionally countering our brain’s negativity bias. Emotional balance is key — recognizing and responding effectively to both pleasant and challenging emotions.

This is distinctly different from “toxic positivity” which insists upon positivity, even during real hardship. Offering someone who just had a life-changing diagnosis a “Just stay positive!” or a “Look on the bright side…” can feel invalidating and dismissive.

This holds true for ourselves. When we are struggling and yet insisting that we should only feel positive and resilient, it’s a denial of reality and actually increases our suffering.

Savoring positive emotions is not about feeling good all the time. Rather, it’s about letting the good moments land fully in your awareness, especially when life is challenging. Interested in giving it a go? Here are some simple practices:

• Notice and name. When an enjoyable moment happens, pause and really take it in. Name the feeling or the parts that feel good.

• Tune into your five senses. Use all your senses to soak in the experience and “turn up the volume” of the positive emotions.

• Share with others. When you either enjoy something with others or share about it later, this can amplify our savoring practice.

• Journal about it. Journaling or recording a voice memo about a lovely moment helps us anchor in the feeling and remember what was wonderful about it.

• Bedtime reflection. At the end of the day, take a few moments to reflect and replay your favorite moments. Notice what it feels like to savor the best bits of your day before you drift off.

Savoring joy doesn’t mean denying pain. It means giving yourself permission to fully enjoy the good in your life, so you have more resilience and strength for the hard.

What small joys already exist in your life that you could savor more deeply? How might your days feel different if you made this a regular practice?

I aim to provide compassionate and practical guidance. Submit below if you’d like my perspective on your question or circumstance in a future column.

Tiffany Skidmore is a mental health and life coach who specializes in life transitions and anxiety. Email your questions and feedback to tiffanyskidmore.com">tiffany@tiffanyskidmore.com or submit them anonymously at tinyurl.com/thelifecoach. Visit tiffanyskidmore.com to learn more.