Dear Eric >> My brother is 22 years old and has always had a girlfriend, though none of the relationships have ever lasted. His previous girlfriends have been controlling and possessive, to the point that he breaks up with them.

His current girlfriend seems to be the same way, but he is head over heels for her. Not only is she possessive and wants him to spend all his time with her, but it appears that she is a pathological liar. She has lied to him, my family and other people we know, then gets defensive when caught in the lies. She also tells my family about her troubled childhood and family life with stories that seem extremely far-fetched.

They are spending more and more time together, to the point that he never does anything with his friends or family and when he does, she gets upset with him and gaslights him or cries. I love my brother, and I trust his judgment, but I am extremely worried about his relationship becoming abusive. They’ve only been together for two months and she’s already calling him “hubby” and he bought her a ring. Perhaps I’m having flashbacks of my own past abusive relationship, but I can’t help but worry for him. My parents are concerned as well.

Should I bring up my concerns to him or just let it play out? He is an adult, so I don’t want to try and interfere at all, as I don’t think it’s my place to do so.

— Concerned Older Brother

Dear Brother >> Respectfully, though you say you trust your brother’s judgment, I don’t think that’s actually the case. And that’s fine — he’s 22 and he has a track record of making questionable relationship decisions. It’s OK to have doubts.

And it’s OK to communicate your concerns to him in a way that’s rooted in love. So, please talk to him.

He may not see the issues that you do, or he may be glossing them over. Hearing the perspective of a loved one could open his eyes more. Failing that, at least your conversation can remind him that he’s got others to depend on.

Respect his ability to make his own decisions and try, as best you can, to separate what has happened to you from what’s happening in his life. But do talk to him, adult to adult. We could all use a caring opinion sometimes.

Dear Eric >> My family lives in a small apartment building and we really enjoy our neighbors. However, there is one issue that rears its head around holidays that I’m unsure of how to address without potentially offending these good neighbors.

Our family doesn’t travel very frequently. We also don’t receive a lot of packages compared to many of our neighbors, most of whom get multiple packages a day. I’m often asked if I can collect packages while other families who travel frequently are gone.

If it were only ever so often or only a package here and there, I wouldn’t mind. However, it seems I have become the go-to person and there are many, many packages to look out for. Furthermore, several times once I have collected and held packages for neighbors, they do not come and pick them up in a timely manner once they’ve returned. Thus, we have been left with stacks of boxes and envelopes, and I’ve had to request that people come get their belongings.

Even if we aren’t traveling, I find it burdensome to have to be on the lookout for packages, so they don’t go missing once they are left by the carrier, store the packages and then remind people to remove them from our space.

If a neighbor asks if we’ll be around for a holiday, I don’t want to lie and say we won’t be. However, I’m tired of being asked to be a default porter. Can you suggest how I might handle this dilemma with minimal damage to my good relationships with likeable neighbors?

— Package Deal

Dear Deal >> Just because you’re around doesn’t mean you’re waiting by the mailbox. You’ve got your own life. If your neighbors are likable (and popular enough to receive barrages of gifts during the holidays), then I hope they’re also even-keeled enough to just hear the truth. Talking to your neighbors on a case-by-case basis will work best.

“We’ve gotten overwhelmed by packages for the building and we have a busy schedule this holiday. So, to make sure we don’t miss something important, can you set a delivery hold with the Post Office?” Other delivery services, like UPS, DHL and the like, also make it very easy to set alternate delivery locations or dates. If they take offense to the completely reasonable request that they go to a website and click one button, that’s on them.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com