Q I’m an introvert who manages a small team of remote workers, all people I knew before taking a manager position. One of them, a very nice woman, is my social opposite; she’s an extrovert who needs a lot of interaction and attention. Her communication is also frequently unprofessional in either tone (starting emails with “Yo, cool chick” or describing a mistake as “pooping her pants”) or substance (gossip about co-workers or stories about her mother-in-law). A normal day with her looks like receiving at least three to four emails, 10 to 12 Zoom chat messages and at least one phone call, almost none of it about work.

I’ve felt obligated to accommodate some of this, both to maintain a good working relationship with her and because I know I need to grow to be a good manager. But I find these interactions draining, and when the content is juvenile or about office politics, irritating.

How do I set boundaries that allow us to maintain a good rapport but also respect my time and desire to keep it professional?

— Anonymous

A Draining? I can certainly imagine. Irritating? No doubt.

I get the feeling that your employee’s problem may be not her extroversion but her lack of boundaries.

My advice is that you should not feed the beast. As in: You should not respond to the contents of her emails, chat messages and phone calls that have nothing to do with work.

You might also, when you are confronted by these messages, issue direct responses to her along the lines of “I have a lot on my plate and need to keep us focused on work today.” A friend recently told me about the concept of “gray rocking,” in which someone who is being subjected to another person’s unwanted behavior reacts to the offending individual’s attempts to provoke by simply going silent or responding in the most tepid, boring — that is, “gray” — way possible.

Susan Cain, author of the 2012 book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” told me that over the years she had heard from many extroverts who were sensitive to the idea that their enthusiasm for lots of interaction suggested a certain superficiality. Her point is that she doesn’t necessarily associate your colleague’s behavior with extroversion and that it could be due to bad boundaries.

Cain suggested that a manager and his or her team can sit down and talk through their temperamental preferences. This depersonalizes the issue and doesn’t pin it on one person.

And if you aren’t comfortable having these conversations in a group setting? Cain gave the example of a former CEO of Campbell’s, Doug Conant, an introvert, who undertook an exercise called “Declare Yourself.” Whenever he brought new members onto his team, he would schedule a meeting with them and, among other things, discuss his introversion and preferred modes of interaction.

“The theme of both these exercises is basically giving people permission to talk about something that’s otherwise socially awkward to discuss,” Cain said.

Anna Holmes’ work has appeared in numerous publications, including the New York Times, Washington Post, and The New Yorker.