Dear Eric >> My wife and I are both 70. We recently gave up our landline and now both carry our cellphones. Lately my wife, when receiving a text or call, will stop what she’s doing to reply. While eating lunch together recently and having a conversation, a text came in and she interrupted our talk to respond.

I voiced my feelings about being made to feel second class and asked if she couldn’t have waited to address this, unless it was timely or very important. She acknowledged it wasn’t a time-sensitive issue but said she wasn’t being disrespectful. I told her that I disagreed with that and asked her to please prioritize in similar situations.

Tonight, we were watching a TV show together and with three minutes left, the conclusion unfolding, her brother called. The show was paused and she then proceeded to have a five-minute conversation about dinner plans for an evening 10 days from now.

I left the room, turned on another TV and watched the end by myself. When she asked what my problem was, I again explained there was no reason she couldn’t have called him back after we were done watching the show together. She disagreed and said it was just a few minutes. I found this extremely rude and asked her again to prioritize these situations. She tells me I am overreacting. Having not grown up with these technological situations, I’d appreciate your thoughts.

— No Call List

Dear No Call >> The technology is a factor here, but a bigger part may be a desire to have more meaningful time with your wife.

Having a cellphone on you can sometimes seem like being perpetually on hold. The minute it rings or buzzes, you feel an impulse to respond in a way that landlines, stationed on a wall or counter rather than in our pockets, rarely trigger. It’s an easy habit to fall into and a hard one to break.

So, some of this is novelty and the siren song of technology.

But, even if the phone wasn’t ringing, I think you’d still be yearning to feel valued by and connected to your wife. After all, these are only minutes-long digressions.

It’s OK to ask for more intentional connection and have it not become an indictment of her phone. It’s also OK to ask for a “no phones” hour while you watch a show or share a meal. Leave them in another room or plugged into a charger.

You’ll get more quality time, and feel less annoyed about interruptions, if you approach this proactively and map out times that you can feel appreciated and show your appreciation for your wife.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com