I own a set of very racist 19th-century books that were part of my research.
It is now time for me to reduce the size of my library, but I am afraid to sell these books because, given the mood in our country today and the rise of white supremacy, I’m afraid these books will be bought by people who will be reinforced in their racist ideologies.
I know they can get the books in other ways (if they knew about them), and I don’t believe in burning books. I have offered them to several libraries but to no avail. I am very worried about what to do.
This is from the museum’s website (ferris.edu/jimcrow):
“The Jim Crow Museum is the largest publicly accessible collection of segregation and racist artifacts in the United States. These objects are used to teach tolerance and promote social justice. The Museum is free and open to the public; therefore, it’s largely dependent on donations-financial and in-kind-to enhance its work.”
Photos of exhibits from the museum show a wide variety of curated bigotry — gathered for the purpose of educating the public about the deep shame of America’s racist history.
Pointedly, the museum’s website notes that they are currently being somewhat flooded with donations. I take this as a good sign, as Americans become more sensitive to the books, films, toys, products, signage, and other cultural messages that only a generation ago might have seemed acceptable (or merely embarrassing) to white Americans, but are now appropriately seen for what they are: abhorrent signifiers of racism.
The museum might have ideas for how to handle your books.
I understand your reluctance to burn the books. If you are not able to place them in a reputable collection, and if you believe that these books are NOT unique and represent historical racist ideas available elsewhere to scholars, then I think you should consider destroying them in a symbolic fashion. Perhaps you could shred them and add the shredded material as mulch for a garden. Let something beautiful or nutritious grow from these ugly ideas.
Mark the occasion by donating to a cause furthering racial understanding. Perhaps the Jim Crow Museum could use funding to add staff to handle their growing collection.
Three weeks ago, she came clean about sleeping with him last year and having a brief affair.
I don’t know what to do about the marriage.
I feel like I can’t forgive her, but I also don’t want to lose my family.
I’m very hurt and all I keep thinking about is what she did. I keep having these images in my head. Please, help me?
Forgiveness after such an undeserved betrayal is a very heavy lift. If you and your wife want to stay married she must share this burden with you. She should admit, apologize, ask for forgiveness, and make amends. Amends involves a stated, steady desire to regain your trust, as well as working with you to repair the marriage.
A therapist can work with both of you if you try to repair your marriage; a therapist working with you alone can help you cope with the betrayal.
I cheered when I read the first line of your answer: “Yes, you’re pretty terrible.”
As the parent of biracial siblings who have very different skin tone from each other, I appreciate that you understand the nuance of skin color.
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