Dear Abby >> As a 22-year-old gay man, I have tried dating apps to no avail. One guy was 10 years older than me, ex-military (Air Force) and extremely clingy in the first few hours of texting. He said he was “deeply in love with me,” “wanted a future with me,” etc.

The other guys I tried talking to never tried to keep a conversation going. I don’t know what to do. Some co-workers and friends I mentioned this to said I should look only at men of my race. I don’t care about race. I have seen many men, regardless of race, be abusive to their partners.

I care about characteristics that make someone enjoyable to be around. What are their hobbies? What direction are they looking to take their career in? How do they operate in the kitchen? Do they keep things tidy? Also, I’m not much for parties, drinking and casual sex.

I would love to find a guy for me, but there aren’t many LGBTQ areas where I am currently. I feel like I’m going to be alone for longer than I hope for. I’m trying to focus on school and work, but it would be nice to have a special someone. Any advice?

— Failing At It in North Carolina

Dear Failing >> Make sure you aren’t using dating apps that are geared toward hookups. Instead, look for those that are geared toward relationships. They are out there. Also, make it a priority to visit the nearest large city and go to the LGBTQ community center so you can meet new people with similar interests. While I can’t guarantee you’ll find romance, you may make some lasting friends.

Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.