Say what?

Semiprofessional paranormal investigator Johnny Turnip of Abergavenny, Wales, has weighed in on the recent American election, the Abergavenny Chronicle reported on Nov. 11. “Trump isn’t the real enemy; leprechauns are!” he told the paper. “They have been using world leaders and royalty as puppets and distractions from their own diabolical schemes for generations. I don’t think either Donald Trump or Kamala Harris were ever aware that they were being used by these corrupt, gold-hungry, shamrock-obsessed, alcoholic little pygmies.”