Dear Miss Manners: I made a serious error when speaking to someone with cancer by referring to people not diagnosed with the disease as “normal” — as in, “Can normal people get periodically scanned?”

I quickly corrected myself, but I still agonize over it, two weeks later. I don’t know what I was thinking and I’m so embarrassed.

This is a casual acquaintance, and we have loose plans to get together for lunch. How should I address this, if at all?

Gentle Reader: Make those loose plans firm. Then assess the damage at lunch.

If your friend seems chilly or distant, Miss Manners suggests you cautiously bring up the incident and apologize. But if she appears to have forgotten about it, let it go. You will have learned a lesson for next time.

Dear Miss Manners: People often ask if I am an artist. I think it is because of the offbeat way that I dress — no paint spatters, but oversized glasses, angled haircuts, quirky shoes, etc.

It seems like a way of commenting on my appearance, and I think it is meant to be complimentary. But when I simply say “No,” there is an awkward silence that follows. I don’t want to volunteer what my actual profession is; that invites a lot of other questions, and I don’t think they are really interested in my job. I don’t necessarily want to engage in a whole conversation, but I don’t want to come across as rude, either.

What would be a polite and friendly response?

Gentle Reader: Rarely one to seek out offense where none is intended, even Miss Manners wonders why these strangers feel the need to label your appearance. And the awkward pause afterwards is betraying any honorable intentions they may have had.

Miss Manners suggests you let them live in the silence a bit to draw attention to it, followed by, “I just like to wear fun things.” That they do not will only be implied.

Dear Miss Manners: I have a co-worker who is older than me by about 20 years. We both work remotely. While we work together on projects, we report to different bosses.

When I tell her I have finished a task or project, she will respond with “Good girl,” as if I am her pet or child. She does this via email, in instant messages and verbally over the phone. It is infuriating and demeaning.

What would be a suitable response to her? Up to this point, I have just ignored it and moved on, but I really want to say something to make her realize it is awful to say that to a grown woman.

Gentle Reader: “I’m sure you mean it kindly, and I’m delighted that you appreciate my work. But this is my job, and when you say ‘Good girl,’ it makes me feel as though I am doing you a favor. Or that I am a pet instead of a colleague.”

Contact Miss Manners at dearmissmanners@gmail.com.