When I woke up, he was on top of me. It changed my life forever!
Lately, I see his comments on Facebook — on mutual friends’ pages. It is really frustrating.
In the past, I just didn’t use Facebook much, but during the pandemic, I’ve frequented FB more often because I am trying to keep up with distant friends.
I’m not sure how to resolve this. I’ve debated sending these mutual friends a private message saying that I may drop them as friends because of him — and tell them why.
Sometimes I want to call him out on others’ pages when I see his friendly or happy-go-lucky posts.
I never pressed charges when this happened because I guess I was embarrassed and vulnerable.
Now as an older person, I wish I had pressed charges to resolve some of my anger. I wish he had been punished for taking so much trust away from me.
Should I just quit Facebook? If I do, I feel that he wins.
First, you should communicate with a counselor at RAINN.org. You can speak with someone by phone or use their helpful “chat” function to basically text back and forth. It is never too late to benefit from supportive counseling.
States have varying rules regarding reporting a rape, and RAINN.org has state-by-state guidelines posted on their site.
If legally allowable in your state, you should consider reporting this to the police. It is understood that victims of sexual assault sometimes don’t report until many years later. You might be told that they can’t help you, but you might feel more empowered if you tried.
If you want to confront this person about the assault, then you should communicate with him — not through mutual friends. Discuss this prospect with a counselor.
Because you are triggered by seeing comments this man makes on friends’ FB pages, you should use the “block” function to block him. You will then be virtually “invisible” to each other.
Our oldest daughter got married at 26. We paid $25,000 toward her wedding, following the age-old tradition that the bride’s family picks up the bulk of the wedding costs.
Our only son is recently engaged and will be 33 when he gets married.
He owns his own home, enjoys a comfortable lifestyle and recently inherited $25,000 from his grandmother. (His future in-laws appear to be very well off.) Our son has recently asked us how much we can put into their wedding kitty.
Does the age-old tradition we applied to the first daughter also apply to the son, in that the bride’s family picks up the bulk of the wedding costs?
And perhaps the bigger question, at what point in life do you stop expecting your parents to pay for your wedding?
You need to talk with your son and his fiancée to see what their plans are and what they are hoping to receive from you.
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