Dear Abby >> I have been married for 47 years. My wife has suffered from mental illness for more than half our marriage. Two years ago, she went off her medication, became manic for 10 months and was hospitalized four times. A few months later, it was discovered she had breast cancer. Fortunately, it was detected early. After surgery and radiation, she is cancer-free. I stuck with her through all that.

During her manic period, her actions toward me were just too much. I can never love her again or want her as my wife. She has taken up cigar smoking, and while she doesn’t smoke in the house her clothes reek when she comes inside. I’m just her caretaker, and my life is miserable. I have worked hard and saved enough that even with half, she should be OK financially. We have three adult children.

Is it wrong that I want to get a divorce and be able to enjoy the time I have left on this planet? I fear shifting my burden to the kids. Your thoughts, please.

— Unhappy in west virginia

Dear Unhappy >> After 47 years, you have taken care of your wife through thick and thin. Because you have done well enough to ensure that she would be OK financially, I see no reason why you must remain in a marriage that’s unsalvageable. You have served your time. Now consult a lawyer about the logistics.

Dear Abby >> I gave my stepdaughter a blank check to pay for my wife’s birthday party. She consulted me about the choice of the restaurant but did not talk to me about anything else. The amount was far more than I expected. Does a blank check give one the permission to spend what they want?

— Off Guard in California

Dear Off guard >> Yup. You bet it does. Rather than question your daughter’s judgment, perhaps you should question your own.

Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.