Dear Eric >> I don’t consider myself a “square” but I’m having a hard time reconciling some relationships. My cousin’s family now owns a weed store and even sells THC-infused food they can consume while in the store. My good friend did LSD at her son’s wedding. I feel very judgmental about their choices, and I don’t know if I should change my relationships with them or just compartmentalize this. Do you have any advice?

— Drug Free Me

Dear Drug Free >> Compartmentalize, if you can. It’s not “square” to have a different relationship to substances than others do. It’s a matter of personal taste and personal choice; yours is valid, as is theirs.

One thing to ask yourself, however, is how their choices are affecting you, if at all. For instance, if your cousin’s family owns a weed store and you don’t smoke weed, I presume you’re not going in to visit. If they’re not hawking their wares at family events or pressuring you to help them meet their sales quota, then this sounds like something you don’t have to think about.

Similarly, I’m curious what impact your friend doing LSD at her son’s wedding had on you. To me, that sounds like a pretty overwhelming experience for her, what with the celebratory busyness of a wedding and the drug’s effects. But I’m not her and I didn’t have to do the LSD. I wasn’t even invited to the wedding. Even if you were invited, I’m not seeing an indication in your letter that the choice impacted you personally.

You are perfectly within your rights to hold your opinions about drug use. However, when opinions transform into judgment, we get into trouble. If you find yourself unable to live and let live, it would be wise to change your relationships, acknowledging that you’re doing it because their choices are incompatible with the choices you want them to make.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com.