Dear Eric >> My husband has told our kids they cannot have any friends inside of our home. They can play in the front yard and that is it. I don’t know how to tackle this, or what to say when it’s our “turn” to host our kids’ friends. I’ve been hosting the friends to movies, arcades, etc., but never in our home.

My husband is retired and seems to prefer always being home and away from others. I accepted this when we married because he is fine with me going and being around people, if needed.

We didn’t have children until we’d been married for several years and now, I’m worried that our kids will suffer from this odd (in my opinion) rule. His family did not have what I consider traditional habits like eating meals together, spending holidays together or things that my kids and family enjoy.

I don’t want to alienate my husband by forcing him to help host other kids. I love him and understand he’s not very people-y, but I also want my kids to be able to play the host role. I think this is an important social skill (they are 11 years old). Any suggestions?

— Home Alone Kids

Dear Kids >> Part of this is about negotiating the shared responsibility of parenting. I worry that you’re taking on more of that responsibility than you should have to and that your husband, perhaps, isn’t supporting you in the shared goal of making sure your children develop socially.

If you both agree that having friends will help your children, feel a sense of belonging, develop cognitively and improve their social skills, and that being able to know your children’s friends will help you both be better parents, then you owe it to each other to talk about how that can happen.

Maybe he feels that he’s already done enough by allowing friends in the yard. It would be helpful to point out that you’re still planning outings. Is this something that he can help with or initiate on his own?

Many parents are introverted and/or don’t want a house full of their kids’ friends. That’s perfectly fine. A child’s development doesn’t absolutely require having friends over inside. But friendship is important and the ways that they maintain those friendships will grow and change as they enter their teen years.

This is a great opportunity for you and your husband to reassess the ways that parenting is changing for you and to realign the ways that you do this as a team. Don’t let other people’s expectations of you and your children’s social calendars dictate this conversation. Instead, be open about what’s important to you — be it having friends over when he’s not home or simply having more meals together. He doesn’t have to be people-y, but the people in his home have needs, too. He can, and should, show up for you.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com