Dear Abby >> After being married overseas, my daughter recently held a wedding reception stateside. My husband and his sister were able to attend the wedding. I could not because of serious business obligations, so I was really looking forward to the local reception.

My sister-in-law, who lost her husband 18 months ago, sat next to me and cried most of the evening. Since I don’t see her often, I made a point of giving her my full attention. At the end of the dinner, I got up to use the restroom, which was located about 100 feet away. I was gone less than three minutes. I came back, and we left.

A few days later, my daughter posted a group photo from which I am absent. When I asked my husband about it, he replied, “You were in the bathroom.” I am so hurt! He is supposed to be my advocate. Why didn’t his sister say, “Let’s wait for the mother of the bride”? Now I’m in none of the wedding pictures, and I feel betrayed by the people who should have stepped up for me at that important moment. I cried by myself for hours afterward. Should I keep my mouth shut since there’s nothing I can do about it now, or point out how they left me feeling invisible?

— Missing in california

Dear Missing >> When you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go. Yes, it was thoughtless of your husband, his sister and the bride not to have noticed or questioned your absence when the photos were being taken. But bringing it up now will hardly make anyone feel better for the oversight. A more proactive stance would be to state that, in the FUTURE, if photos are taken, it might make sense to take a roll call. Then hope they take you up on it.

Dear Abby >> As a child, I was verbally and emotionally abused by my only parent. I have written an unpublished book about my experiences. Would it be wrong to publish it while my abuser is alive? I would publish it using my real name. Other names I have changed in my writing.

For the last 15 years, I have not had a relationship with this parent. We live a continent apart. They never reached out even when I battled cancer. I guess I’m still feeling the effects of the conditioning from the abuse. I am 60 now, with a family of my own. My husband of 35 years and our children, as well as a sibling I am very close with, support my publishing the book. My sibling also suffered the same fate.

— Survivor in the south

Dear Survivor >> If you feel it would be cathartic to publish your autobiography, I encourage you to do it. HOWEVER, before doing it, consult an attorney so you can protect yourself should your abusive parent threaten to sue you for publicly unmasking them.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.