Dear Abby >> My husband, “Leon,” and I have been together for 13 years. He is bisexual — gay-leaning. I knew this when we got together. I am 51, and Leon is 32. We still love each other deeply, but he is also in a relationship with a man. His boyfriend is 21. We have an 11-year-old daughter together, and I have two grown kids from a previous marriage.

I was always OK with Leon having friends with benefits. But this new relationship has me feeling lost and confused. I don’t want our marriage to be ruined because of his relationship with this man, but I’m afraid it might well happen. After having been married for so long, it feels like my best friend is being ripped from me also. We have been through a lot together. This tidal wave of emotions is getting the better of me. Please help. I don’t know what to do.

— Losing Hope in Idaho

Dear Losing hope >> When you married Leon, you did it knowing it would be an open marriage. Neither you nor your husband took into account that he might meet someone he could fall deeply in love with. Under the circumstances, your feelings are understandable. Couples counseling may help you to adjust to the new reality, and I heartily recommend it. Your doctor should be able to refer you.

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