tion of the impacted communities in the Eaton and Palisades fire burn areas, coupled with the speed at which the fires happened, significantly elevated the level of trauma.

For Smith, it wasn’t the first time fires had touched the hills north of their home on Parkman Street, a cul-de-sac west of Farnsworth Park.

“Where our house was, any time there was a fire up on the mountain we were able to see it … The planes would come and they’d drop the water,” she said.

This time, however, there was no evacuation warning, nor did a notice they received about the fire through a blog even seem remarkable, as they had just been over in the area where it started less than a half-hour before and hadn’t seen anything.

She and her husband, Robert, decided to drive back to look, just before 7 p.m., finally spotting the fire from around East Altadena Drive and Allen Avenue.

“The fire was moving really quick, so I got really nervous and said we should go back to the house and at least pack up our go-bag (but) we still didn’t really feel like the house was going to burn because we were south of Loma Alta (Drive), and Loma Alta was always the firebreak,” Smith said.

Her story of evacuation included fleeing on her own to her parents’ house in Orange County shortly afterward, while her husband, a videographer, sought to capture images of the fire. Then, there was the stress of losing contact with him intermittently throughout the night due to loss of wifi, coupled with the drama of horrendous news reports, and ultimately stories from her husband of how the 100-mph winds began cracking windows in their house before he too finally fled. It all took a toll on Smith.

At 10 the next morning, having heard reports that all but two of the houses on their street had been destroyed, they returned.

“That was even crazier,” she said, likening it to a video game as they drove past telephone poles and houses that were on fire amid a maze of downed power lines, hardly able to even find their street because things were so unrecognizable.

“Seeing all that disaster was again one of those things,” Smith said. “It’s like a gut punch. You can’t believe what you’re seeing … I don’t even know how I did it. I think I just kind of shut my emotions off.”

When they finally arrived to find their house destroyed, Smith just started crying. “It was a smoldering ruin,” she said.

Dr. Shairi Turner, chief health officer with Crisis Text Line, a 24-hour virtual mental health support service, noted the intensity of experiencing something like the fires.

“Personal exposure to natural disasters can have a tremendous impact on an individual’s emotional and mental well-being,” she said.

“Once the acute emergency has passed, which is where we are now,” Turner said, “depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms can debilitate survivors for months and possible years to come.”

“Symptoms of panic, sleeplessness, worry and repetitive thoughts, along with feelings of guilt, can be common,” she said. “These symptoms can be magnified for our first responders, who faced this disaster while risking their lives to save people and their homes.”

Some of Smith’s experience bears this out.

“The first month was kind of a blur. I couldn’t even tell you what was happening,” Smith said, with her attention mechanically centered on completing paperwork for FEMA, the insurance company, and just surviving as the couple moved between several different locations.

“At the two-month mark last week, that’s where things changed, at least for me,” she said. “That’s when the real grief started, thinking about everything that we lost.”

More than 20,000 people received help through LACDMH services in the first two months at evacuation centers, disaster recovery centers and repopulation sites.

“When we were manning the points of entry back into the community … We found people there that would just break down and couldn’t even move,” Wong remembered. “We had people that we had to do an evaluation for involuntary hospitalization on … We had some people who just needed a hug from somebody, so it really was this vast array of needs.”

She said that for many people, the most intense emotional reaction may be a delayed one, held in check until they can muscle through the practical requirements of getting their feet back on the ground.

“A lot of it depends, of course, on their own system of support — what kind of social support do they have in their lives,” Wong said. “But some of it too is just people trying to do what they need to do to keep their family intact, to get by, and then once they have time to take a breath, that’s when it’s going to hit them.”

Smith is now experiencing intermittent attacks of tears and stress, gingerly coping with the symptoms and feelings following her tremendous shock.

“Everybody processes trauma differently,” she said, noting that her husband has been on a different timetable than she has.

Everybody takes their own time going through things. Some people are going to recover faster … You want to go fast, you want to get over this really quick,” she said, but that’s not always going to be the case.

Smith noted how people outside of the experience can sometimes be impatient or without understanding for those who have lived through it. As an example, while she and her husband plan to rebuild their home in Altadena, many people judge those who want to leave as abandoning the community, not understanding that the ongoing experience of rebuilding there may be too much for them to bear.

“You can’t really understand what other people’s lives are, so you can’t really blame them … There’s an intolerance of time, too, where people want you to get over it fast,” she said.

Smith also noted that sometimes it doesn’t help to have people impart their suggestions that she count her blessings regarding her losses.

“Everyone tells you, ‘Well, it’s just stuff. At least you guys got out safe.’ That doesn’t help,” she said.

What has helped is the counselor that she and her husband have been seeing, working to process from a couple’s perspective. Smith has also found a grief support group through Facebook, which meets both virtually and in person, and which she hopes will bring her some relief.

“There’s a benefit to working through these things, as opposed to just shoving them to the side and ignoring them, or pretending they didn’t happen or thinking that you don’t need to talk about them,” she said.

Smith believes it’s pivotal to not feel like one is going through things alone, and that there be a safe place where one knows they can share about things.

“I think the isolation is an enemy for us here,” Wong said. “What we don’t want is for people to take what they’ve gone through and hunker down with it and feel that they just have to push through by themselves.”

“Whether it’s us, whether it’s a paraprofessional group, whether it’s family or friends, the first step is to reach out,” she said, noting her department’s 800 phone line, as well as the 988 crisis line.

Smith opines that not enough people talk about mental health, whether because of stigma or a lack of understanding. But she said in her experience it’s critical for everyone to seek relief from what are very real stressors and struggles that can be brought on by various kinds of trauma.

“I don’t want to feel like I’m going through this alone,” she said. “I think it’s harder to be dealing with something like this, especially the trauma of this, by yourself.”

“You have to have an outlet,” she said.

Jarret Liotta is a Los Angeles-based freelance writer and photographer.

Those in need of immediate help, 24/7, can call the LACDMH Help Line at 800-854-7771.

Those in need can also text 741741 to connect with a free trained crisis counselor through crisis text line, 24/7.

For emergency help, dial 911.

For general information on LACDMH resources, call 844-804-0055, Monday through Friday from 7:30 a.m. to 7 p.m. or Saturday from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

The Disaster Distress Helpline, part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, can be reached by calling or texting 800-985-5990, 24/7. For more information, visit disasterdistress.samhsa.gov.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness can be reached through its website at www.nami.org/home.