Dear Eric >> One of my offspring has cut off all communication with her father, my ex-husband. He hasn’t even met his 4-year-old grandson. My other child has a close relationship with my ex.

The daughter in question claims my ex was not a good father. He certainly wasn’t a good provider; I supported the family financially. He was likely depressed but refused to see his doctor. I feel for him, and I feel for my other child, who faces awkwardness when planning kids’ birthday parties, etc. Is there anything I can do?

— Stuck in the Middle

Dear Middle >> Your ex-husband has to be responsible for his choices and behavior, past and present. Trying to manage the relationship he has with your children is only going to cause you more grief. You’ve spent years taking on more than your share of familial burdens. It’s time to detach with love.

Dear Eric >> I was married, and the relationship ended. He was dishonest and cheated. I was furious and sad. This was about eight years ago. We don’t have any ties (kids, pets, etc.), and I told him that I didn’t think friendship was possible at that time because of how he treated me.

It took me a bit to get over everything, but it’s OK now. However, we are godparents to the daughter of his friends. I am in touch with the family, and they kindly invited me to her bat mitzvah. I am unsure if I should accept the invitation as I assume he’ll be there, and they’re technically his friends.

I think that I may be overreacting, but I haven’t been faced with seeing him since the divorce. Should I decline the invitation since they’re his friends first?

— Not Ready to Celebrate

Dear Celebrate >> If you’re still close with your goddaughter’s family and it would hurt them to not have you there, you should go. You don’t have to interact with your ex. You don’t even have to speak with him, if you don’t want. You’re there for her.

But if it feels more like a perfunctory invite, you’re fine to decline.

It’s been a long time since your marriage. All the water is under the bridge, but you should pay attention to your reaction. If it still feels bad, let the past stay in the past.

Dear Eric >> My husband and I were invited to his distant cousin’s wedding. Not only is it expensive to go to but we just discovered that the groom is an anti-vaxxer and (probable) racist through his long Facebook history. I’m Black and I’d be the only Black person there for this geographically isolated wedding.

We are already going low contact with a few of his relatives who will be at the wedding and the whole thing seems more trouble than it’s worth. Do we respectfully decline? Should my husband go alone?

— Reluctant Guest

Dear Guest >> You already know you don’t want to go to this wedding so check that “Regrets” box for both of you and keep it moving. The couple surely doesn’t want anyone there who isn’t going to feel comfortable. Enjoy your free weekend!