Q: During my annual evaluation last week, my boss admitted that two senior managers, including myself, have been paid less for years than our peers with similar experience and backgrounds. I’ve been with the company for 12 years. I feel gutted knowing that despite my hard work and consistently stellar reviews, I’ve been underpaid for so long.

My former boss, who swapped roles with my current boss, is likely responsible for this, but my new boss still consults with him closely before making decisions. While my current boss has said he plans to increase my salary to help close the gap, he hasn’t committed to bringing it fully in line with others or addressing the years of disparity.

I’m not sure what my options are at this point. I don’t want to come across as too demanding, but it’s hard not to feel like I’ve been too accommodating. If they admit to underpaying me so nonchalantly, they seem to still consider me accommodating and low risk for them. Which truly angers me.

— Anonymous

A: You haven’t been too accommodating all these years, because you didn’t know you were being underpaid. Nothing from the past was your fault or within your control; it seems the blame goes to your former boss for not rewarding the quality of your work and not making your salary commensurate with what other people at your level were, and are, making.

I’m curious to know how your current boss communicated the news that you’d been underpaid. I have to imagine that if he revealed this to you in an apologetic way it might signal a willingness on his part to make things right.

About making things right: I’m troubled by the reluctance — or unwillingness — to bring your salary fully in line with that of your similarly situated peers. Have you asked your current boss explicitly about addressing the disparity in a way that involves back pay?

As for your options, you have every right to come across as demanding or, at the very least, persistent and assertive about this issue. They’ve been underpaying you for years. And don’t think I haven’t noticed that both your former and current boss are male, and that, based on the name given in your email, you are female. Women still make less than men — 84% of what men are paid, and this is without taking race and ethnicity into account — and they suffer from societal assumptions that they’ll be accommodating, thanks to the ways we’re socialized as girls.

What did you say in response to your current boss when he told you about being underpaid? Have you spoken to the other underpaid senior manager you work with? (Some states are moving to enact salary transparency laws. Is yours?)

Find an employment lawyer and have an introductory discussion. And, depending on what your employer or boss says, you might want to consider looking for another job.

Pay disparities can be compounded over the years; what may seem like a minor difference in annual salary adds up to a whole lot more over the decades. Is your feeling of being passed over, taken for granted and disrespected going to abate if your salary is brought in line — or close to it — with that of others? You’re still in the process of finding that out. But what you may find is that “accommodation” means accommodating yourself and honoring your sense of self-respect. And that you’ll be better off taking your talents elsewhere.

— Anna Holmes is an award-winning writer, editor and creative exec whose work has appeared in numerous publications.