Dear Eric: A relatively new friend has invited me to a third dinner at her home, and I do not want to attend. Her first two meals were simply not well-prepared and not good.

One meal included fish that had an unappetizing odor as she fried it and also had an unpleasant “off” taste when I tried to eat it. She also served barely warm, bland mashed potatoes and overcooked, unseasoned vegetables. No butter or sauces for anything. When I helped her clean up after the meal, I placed the leftover fish into the refrigerator. I could tell the interior was not very cold. Perhaps the fish had been sitting in the refrigerator uncooked for too long a time and was beginning to spoil.

The second meal at her home consisted of hummus that had been sitting out uncovered so long it had started to develop a crust. Also, there were crackers and plain, overcooked broccoli to eat with the hummus. I ate only a small amount at each meal, telling her I was not very hungry.

Since I have decided not to eat another meal that she has cooked, I do not know how to tell her I am not interested in a third invitation to dinner.

She has asked me to pick a date when I can come. Other than her cooking, she makes a good friend.

— Lost My Appetite

Dear Appetite: Criticizing another person’s cooking can be a tricky thing. If you think there’s something technically awry, like the temperature of her refrigerator, you can alert her and potentially help her avoid illness. But it sounds like the bigger issue is one of ... well, taste.

I do hate being avoidant, but in this case the most palatable path may be to ask for another activity other than dinner.

Dear Eric: I have been with my boyfriend for 14 years. We live about 15 minutes’ drive apart. He is widowed and I’m divorced. We both have one adult son. Mine is 31 and his is 40.

I haven’t met his son or any friends/family members, though he knows mine.

My boyfriend says he had an abusive dad, and he doesn’t much like his two siblings or their families. He only has one real friend but won’t introduce us.

I asked him why once and he said he “likes his privacy.” I put it down to his idiosyncrasies but still find it odd.

We have always talked for hours on a nightly basis. Previously, he has gone quiet for a week or two at times. But now, although we haven’t had a falling out, I haven’t seen him in eight months.

— Short-Distance Love

Dear Love: Something’s gotta give. If he’s happy to talk for hours every night, then he can and should spend 15 minutes of one of those hours, making the trek to your house for an in-person talk. Ask for that. If he can’t or won’t do it, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, but it may mean that he’s not in a position to be who you need right now.

It may be healthiest for you to choose separation.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com