Resident of Concord

On June 10, 2025, an amazing man left us, surrounded by his daughters, husband and the 2special pups in his life. Jack was truly 1 of a kind – yes, very tall - yes, very big feet –but aman of integrity and grace who touched and improved the lives of so many people. He was inquisitive and very detail oriented, loved to explore the arts, especially music. And he studied compositions and performance recordings with the same care and detail with which he built a grandfather clock or did extraordinary needlepoint. Jack paid the same attention and detail to small projects, like cleaning up a photograph in Photoshop, as he did to large elaborate projects, like creating a set for an operetta.

Jack was born to Elizabeth and Sebastian Becker in 1934 in Los Angeles, California (his siblings – Robert, Betty and Gladys - predeceased him). He remained in Southern California until he and his husband moved to the San Francisco Bay Area in 1997. He was a graduate of Occidental College, having studied mathematics and physics, and did some post-graduate work at Vanderbilt University. From that he began a LONG career in programming and finance. He developed a close working relationship and friendship with a coworker turned entrepreneur, whom he followed from one successful business to the next over the course of almost 40 years.

Jack struggled with and accepted his sexuality as a gay man in the late 1950’s. But, he married Carol Kubrock in 1966 and together they created 2 wonderful daughters, Julia (Julie) and Katherine (Kate). Following the end of the marriage, Jack again embraced his identity as a gay man and sought to include his daughters in his life ashis true and complete self in the best and most healthy way possible. That led him to Metropolitan Community Church in the Valley (MCCV) where Jack and his daughters felt at home and part of the community. MCCV’s robust music programs offered Jack the opportunity to explore more choral singing. Perhaps most significantly, the church offered Jack a place to realize a long-held dream –to create a theater group to present a diverse range of theater –from dramas to musicals to operetta. Whether behind the scenes as a producer, building sets or acting on stage, Jack flourished and found great fulfillment in being part of the creation of Night Lights Theater Group.

And it was a perfect opportunity for his daughters to join him, on stage and off and share in his joy and sense of accomplishment.

It was in the context of the new theater group that Jack met Lyle Swallow. After a year or 2 and with the encouragement and the blessing of Julie and Kate, Jack and Lyle came together to begin a 41-year partnership and journey. That included wonderful travel adventures around the world and a jointly discovered love for the Northwest geography, people and art – 9 cruises to Alaska, and many other trips to Alaska and British Columbia resulted in much art purchased from local artists that embrace the walls of their home today.

In 1997, shortly after Jack retired from his full-time job, ajob offer for Lyle gave them the opportunity to move to the San Francisco Bay Area. Jack was thrilled with the move and the many new opportunities it offered. He thrived in the Bay Area, making many good friends and embracing the local arts scene (theater, opera and ballet).

It was agood move all the way around that enabled Jack and Lyle to create awarm home for family and friends to enjoy, rescuing/adopting several wonderful furry friends and loving each of them completely –that all gave Jack great pleasure. And he also enjoyed working part time for several years with the Jewish Federation of the East Bay. Jack and Lyle also found another warm, open and welcoming church at Clayton Valley Presbyterian Church: great music, wonderful community and some very special friends.

Near the end of his life, as mobility challenges made things more difficult for him, Jack embraced it all with calm resolve – never mad, depressed, angry - continuing to enjoy the things he could still do that enriched his life.

Jack’s life came to an end in exactly the way hehad always lived –with grace and integrity, knowing what he wanted (and didn’t want). He wanted to be at home, with his “boys” (the dogs), his daughters and his husband, in calm and quiet. With the wonderful assistance of Sunrise Hospice, Lyle, Julie and Kate helped to ensure that he had exactly that end-of-life experience –caring for him and loving him, until his final peaceful departure: both a gift from Jack and a gift to Jack.

Thank you, Jack Becker, for all of the joy and love and enthusiasm and beauty that you shared with us. You will be missed terribly but never forgotten.

Donations can be made to Smuin Contemporary Ballet and dedicated “In Memory of Jack Becker” at https://www.smuinballet.org/