Mini Fact:

Class meetings are another place to solve individual or group problems.

The United Nations established the International Day of Peace in 1981. It is observed on Sept. 21 each year. Along with promoting nonviolence and cease-fires, the Day of Peace “must also be a time for people to see each other’s humanity,” the U.N. says.

The 2024 theme is Cultivating a Culture of Peace — not just avoiding conflict, but actively trying to understand and cooperate with one another. This week, The Mini Page looks at how kids can learn to be peaceful together.

Conflicts happen

Wherever people work or live together, there will be conflicts — fights, arguments or quarrels. If you have brothers or sisters, you probably tussle with them now and then.

Whether at home, at school or in another setting, kids can use these tools to help resolve conflicts without violence or hatred.

Try to DEBUG

If you’re experiencing conflict with someone, you can remember these steps by their acronym, DEBUG:

D: Decide to ignore the other person.

E: Exit. Move away, to another seat or part of the room.

B: Be friendly and politely ask the person to stop what they’re doing.

U: Use firm talk. Don’t raise your voice, but look the other person in the eye.

G: Get help from an adult.

Reach for the STARS

In some classrooms, a talk-it-out table is a special place for students to sit down and resolve their problems with each other. They might use the STARS method:

S: State the problem. Ask each person to clearly state the conflict and share their feelings.

T: Think about strategies. Suggest ways the problem might be solved.

A: Agree on a plan in a way that works for everyone.

R: Recognize responsibilities. Each person decides what he or she must do to solve the problem.

S: Seal the deal. After reaching an agreement, the kids involved shake hands on the deal.

I The ‘I’ Method

Conflict resolution experts recommend using the “I” statement: talking about how “I feel” about a situation rather than pointing a finger at someone and saying what he or she did. For instance:

I feel bad when you make fun of my shoes because I have to wear my sister’s hand-me-downs. I would appreciate it if you would not criticize my clothing.

Good communication skills

In any situation where there is a conflict, it helps to use excellent communication skills. Remember these when you’re talking with others.

• Choose a good time and private place to talk and agree that you both want to settle things.

• Tell the truth.

• Listen politely without interrupting.

• Use a calm voice.

• Use good eye contact.

• Be respectful. No name-calling or fighting.

• Take responsibility for carrying out whatever solutions you come up with.

Peer mediators

Sometimes people ask another person to be a “go-between” to help them work things out. People who look for peaceful ways of settling things are often called mediators (MEE-dee-ay-tors).

Some schools use specially trained peer mediators to help kids work out their problems. A peer is someone who is near your own age.

Mediators don’t come up with solutions themselves. They listen while the disputants (kids having the dispute) come up with their own solutions.

Resources

On the Web:

• bit.ly/MPconflict

At the library:

• “I Can Use an I Statement” by Jenelle French

• “Talk and Work It Out” by Cheri J. Meiners