Dear Abby >> I’m in my early 40s and have been working hard since my mid 20s. I have a nice house that my wife and I are trying to pay off and two kids. We live pretty comfortably, but by no means are we well off.

My dad is very well off, and he finances my older brother to live abroad. My younger sister, who still lives at home with him, is given whatever money she needs or wants. I am growing increasingly resentful about this situation. My two siblings, neither of whom work, are getting free rides from Dad.

My father loves to remind me how much money he has and how successful he is. So why doesn’t he help me pay down my mortgage so my family and I can live a more comfortable life? This is the question that is nagging at me, but I’m not sure whether to ask my dad or not.

Do you have any advice about the direction I should take, and what I can do so I don’t feel so much resentment?

— One of Three in Canada

Dear One >> Perhaps it’s time to step back and view this situation from a different perspective. You seem to think your father is doing your sister and brother a favor by subsidizing their lifestyles. From where I sit, it looks more like he has spent years fostering their dependence on him rather than helping them to become independent adults. Has it never occurred to you that of the three siblings, you are the only one who is fully functional? Your father may be under the impression that you can comfortably pay your mortgage off by yourself. Stop fuming and have an honest talk with him.

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