Dear Abby >> My husband took me on a trip for my birthday this year, only he didn’t prepare for anything other than some sightseeing events. He didn’t help plan for camping, didn’t financially plan well for souvenirs or if we wanted to eat out, and had a crappy attitude the entire time. We got into an argument at almost every event we went to because he either disagreed with my preferences or pushed back at my calling him out for pouting.

I’m upset because this was supposed to have been a “makeup” trip from him for ruining my birthday years prior, and for pretty awful fights we were having leading up to my birthday. I had tried to back out, but he convinced me to go. My actual birthday was the day after we got home. He ignored me the entire day, and we got into another argument. We had a few friends over, but overall, I was pretty upset and felt unloved by him.

When I addressed it the next day, he told me no one should get a “birthday week” and called me ungrateful and unappreciative of his efforts. Am I wrong for being upset? This was supposed to be his birthday gift to me, but it felt more like I took him on a trip he didn’t even want to be on.

— Birthday Girl in Michigan

Dear Girl >> It is possible your expectations surrounding your birthdays may be, in your husband’s opinion, grandiose. Have you two been arguing about more subjects than birthday celebrations, and if so, for how long?

Speaking safely from the sidelines in order to avoid the crossfire, I suggest you ask your doctor (or health insurance company) to recommend some licensed marriage and family counselors. There are healthier ways to manage conflict in relationships than the way you two are doing it.

Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.