Dear Eric: Twenty-six years ago, my mother worked with a married woman who was pregnant with her fourth child but couldn’t afford to add another child to her family. My sister and husband had a son and wanted a daughter. My mom arranged for the two women to meet, and my sister adopted the baby.

For some reason, my sister and her husband decided not to tell her daughter that she was adopted. Therefore, everyone in our family has kept the adoption knowledge to ourselves.

My question is, should I ask my mom for the birth mother’s information, name and address? My reasoning is that my mom is now 85 and my sister and her husband are in poor health. I believe my sister has destroyed all documents regarding the adoption, so I doubt any paperwork would be discovered by my niece after her passing.

If my niece ever questioned her heritage, then I would have some information to share with her.

— Struggling for Truth

Dear Truth: Ask for the information. Your sister and her husband put your whole family in an unfair position by making this a lifelong secret. Like all of us, your niece deserves to know her own history and she should be able to choose whether or not she wants a connection with her birth family.

Knowing that you’ll be able to bridge the gap in your niece’s knowledge may prompt them to have a conversation with their daughter while they still have time.

Dear Eric: There are a group of us (five or six) who play a tile game regularly each week. While we are all friends — sharing stories, food, life events, etc. — there is one person who continually monopolizes the game.

She will hold the bag of tiles during her turn and talk, not passing it until she is done.

Recently she has also started reading her email during the game, actually talking about each one and clicking a reply to each. I must confess I seem to be the only one annoyed by her behavior, so maybe I just need to let it go?

— Turn the Other Tile

Dear Tile: Oh my, this would annoy me, too. Especially the reading and replying to emails during game play. How interesting could these emails really be?

Even if it’s not evidently bothering other members, it’s affecting you so there’s little harm in inquiring about it.

You might talk to her one on one and say, “I’ve noticed that you check email while we’re playing the tile game. Is there a reason?”

Starting with a question also sets you up to let it go if need be. Maybe it’s just how she likes to keep her mind occupied or helps her concentrate.

It’s also fine to ask her to pull it back a bit or to find other ways of engaging with the game. The group gathers for social interaction and to pass the time, so it’s fair for you to advocate for what you need to make the social time truly enjoyable.

Send questions to eric@askingeric.com.