Dear Eric >> I took a job in DC at the behest of my close friend, who also invited me to live with her. She said she was retiring and moving back to her Midwest hometown. She offered to rent her townhouse to me for a really reduced rate while she’s in transition.

Well, not only is she not making any attempts to move, but she also comments on my eating choices and constantly gives me unsolicited advice. She’s vegan and a diabetic, so she’s very strict with her diet, I mean really strict.

I’m grateful for her help in offering me cheap housing close to my great new job, but I’m hesitant to say anything. When she gets on the topic of me (a vegetarian) eating string cheese or drinking sports drinks, I feel the steam coming out of my ears. For God’s sake, I’m 61 years old and don’t need her approval or permission to eat what I want.

I’ve pushed back with polite statements shutting her down, or I just walk away, but it’s like she can’t help herself. I’m afraid that I will explode the next time she says something about my food choices. I don’t want this to ruin our 30-year friendship, but I’ve had it. Any suggestions?

— Eyes on Your Own Plate

Dear Plate >> Oof, it can be so hard to realize that close friends don’t always make good housemates. It’s also likely scary, in this case, because you’ve uprooted your life for the promise of inexpensive DC digs (no small promise).

However, you made this move thinking you’d be living solo after a while and that’s a part of the original plan that needs revisiting.

If she’s not making moves to, well, move, then you should if possible. Take a look at your finances and decide what’s possible for you, real estate-wise. And let her know what your timeline is so she’s not blindsided.

It may feel awkward to say, “I had planned on a solo space eventually and I’m finding that that’s an important need, as much as I enjoy being with you,” it’s not an unreasonable expectation.

Since she hasn’t responded to the boundary you’re setting with food, I doubt that extended conversation about it will change much. There’s a control she’s exhibiting that has more to do with her own internal monologue than with you.

The best way to keep someone’s eyes off your plate (and preserve your friendship) is to get out of that particular kitchen.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com