Dear Abby >> My mother is toxic. She had a terrible childhood, and she takes it out on me and my younger siblings. I live far away; they live in the same town as she does. If they don’t drop everything for her and do what she wants, she calls them selfish.

Because I had to leave town to get my life together, I am accused of “abandoning” her. A couple of months ago, we all blocked her on social media because she berates us constantly.

Today, my sister sent me screenshots of Mom berating her again on Facebook. In the texts my sister sent, Mom said she got a psychotherapist who says we are all psychotic.

Where do we go from here? Must I block my mom forever and never talk to her again because her therapist won’t help her?

— Incredulous in California

Dear Incredulous >> Your mother may have been less than truthful about seeing a therapist. I doubt she has found a licensed mental health professional who would diagnose you and your siblings as suffering from psychosis without having met you. Perhaps the sister who shared the screenshots can tell you what that mental health professional’s name is so you can check their credentials.

You left town because you wisely decided to improve your mental health. If you must block your mother and not communicate with her, do not feel guilty for protecting yourself.

Dear Abby >> I have been married for 24 years. We make a good living. I earn considerably more than my husband. From the beginning, he has asked me to split everything with him. (He’s not the “provider” type.) He views me as a roommate, financially speaking. I am tired of being the provider. I pay half the mortgage and far more on other expenses. I also do all the cleaning, laundry, cooking and dishes, and I’ve been picking up after him for 24 years. He works from home and takes naps during the afternoon.

He brings nothing to the marriage beyond paying his half of the bills. I am no longer physically attracted to him. You can’t blame me. Most women are not attracted to men who cannot provide. We have one child. I can’t breathe and would rather die young than grow old in this hopeless, depressing arrangement. I just need validation that I shouldn’t be putting up with this.

— Provider in The West

Dear Provider >> Before doing anything rash, it’s important that you discuss this with an attorney who specializes in family law. According to the law in the community property golden state of California, your husband could wind up with half of your hard-earned assets.

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