Q I just had my last day at work, having worked the past 60 years. I loved my job until the work environment became unbearable with staff shortages, poor management and more. So, it was my choice to retire and escape. It’s now been just 48 hours into retirement and I am surprised that I am not calmer. I actually am stressed and realize I have given little thought aside from finances about this big change. I assume this is normal or not? Many thanks.
— G.L.
A Congratulations! You joined the more than 49 million other people in the U.S. who are retired. Retirement is a major life change that can bring about feelings of uncertainty and stress as well as a sense of freedom, choices and benefits. Being able to afford to retire is the most fundamental consideration in the retirement decision. Yet we know there is more. According to a 2022 AARP study, 57% of retirees and 41% of nonretired adults have not thought about addressing their emotions and needs after they stopped working.
I have been fortunate to have worked with over 25,000 employees in educational settings to help increase their awareness and knowledge in planning for those noneconomic aspects of retirement. Feeling a bit anxious about the next chapter was common among senior and midlevel managers, factory workers, university faculty and staff, engineers, physicians, accountants, journalists, clergy and more.
G.L., you are not alone.
Losses and gains typically are part of the retirement experience. For some, the losses are minimal; these people Rollerblade into retirement. My father is a good example. He was a business owner who went from working long hours right into retirement in Florida, using his business skills to help nonprofit organizations get out of debt and increase their revenue. That’s not the case for everyone.
Many feel the loss of recognition and their social contacts and connections. Prior to COVID-19, workers easily spent more time with their co-workers than they did with family members. If work is a main source of social connections, who will fill the void during the week?
Work provides a sense of purpose. Assuming that is important, the challenge is to find that new sense of purpose. Showing up (prior to COVID) and performing some type of work in a timely manner meant you were a contributor with a role. The question becomes, “What is the new role?” Retirement can be a difficult transition, with reduced social connections, an uncertain sense of purpose with an undefined role.
Let’s move to the positives. For many, retirement is a time of freedom, with no schedules, deadlines or commutes; a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it. It’s a time for gardening, pickleball, travel, dance classes, grandchildren, learning and earning opportunities as well as volunteering. It’s a time with no evaluations or performance reviews, and also an opportunity to spend more time with your mate, good friends and family members.
In the U.S., the average length of retirement is 20 years. For many, it’s even more. In my father’s case, it was 34 years. With increased longevity, retirement can be considered a new life stage, with ill-defined roles and expectations.
This concept is so new there is no agreed-upon name for it. Here are some examples. Laura Carstensen, director of the Stanford Center on Longevity, calls it “Act IV,” while the French call it “le troisième âge,” or the third age. Colleagues at Boston College have called retirement the “X Revolution”; Ken Dychtwald, founder and CEO of consulting company Age Wave, has referred to retirement as a period of “middlescence,” somewhat like an advanced adolescence.
Then there is Erik Erickson, a developmental psychologist known for his eight stages of psychosocial development, who refers to the later years as a time of “generativity.”
Marc Freedman, founder and co-CEO of CoGenerate and former CEO of Encore.org, names this period the encore years. Here’s one more that a colleague and I made up: “renewment” — a combination of retirement and renewal.
We are in a period of transformational change and opportunity when it comes to aging and the retirement experience, one that requires additional thinking on how we want to spend the next 10, 20 or 30 years of our lives.
G.L., being a little uneasy is normal. Consider taking this new time as a break from your 60-year work life to catch up with friends, family, nature, travel and whatever makes you feel good. Talk to those who have already made that transition for some tips.
Retirement is an industry, a field of study and a new life stage with extensive resources on how to plan and take advantage of this gift of time, including retirement coaches, books, seminars, podcasts and organizations.
Thank you for your important question. Enjoy and know kindness is everything.
Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and the new retirement, with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com. Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her on facebook.com/SuccessfulAgingCommunity