Eileen Toothaker Lehmer passed away peacefully at the age of 90 on November 27, 2024, in Portola Valley, CA. Eileen was born on May 30, 1934 to Justine and Lawrence Toothaker in Ontario, California. She graduated as valedictorian from Chaffey High School in 1952, where she accompanied many soloists on piano and designed and painted sets for the drama and music departments. In 1956, Eileen graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Stanford University with a B.A. in Design on an art scholarship from General Motors. She met Jerry while giving blood at Stanford and was shocked and delighted that he was single and didn’t smoke! The two wed a week after graduation in Pomona, CA, and Jerry shipped out of Long Beach a week later to begin the first leg of a 3-year stint on a Destroyer in the Navy. During Jerry’s absence, Eileen earned her Masters in Art Education at Cal State, Long Beach.
Eileen and Jerry settled in Pasadena in 1964 with their young children, Ken, Jeff & Brenda. They became especially active in public education and at Pasadena Presbyterian Church. When desegregation arrived in 1972, Eileen & Jerry lived their principles.
They committed to supporting the schools, donating countless hours to local school board campaigns to secure funding for music, libraries, and the arts, as well as access to resources for all children. They resisted pressure to move away, where raising their children would have been less complicated. Instead, they chose to allow their children to participate in the grand desegregation experiment. This was ultimately a gift for which each of the children continues to feel unequivocally grateful.
Eileen’s creativity permeated every aspect of her civic involvement. She illustrated engaging math games for the A.I.M.S. program at San Rafael Elementary to inspire struggling learners. She led Blue Birds and Webelos and served as an officer on multiple PTAs. She taught Sunday School, illustrated Cleveland Elementary’s school newsletter (she invented the “Grover” mascot!) and baked whimsical cakes and sewed fanciful door prizes for school fundraisers. At home, she hosted neighborhood and church dinners and themed birthday parties and crafted gorgeous, silk-screened Christmas cards.
Eileen imbued every project with her own unique magic. Along the way, she made a point to treat every person in her orbit as special and important.
In 1977, just as Ken, the first child, was entering college, Jerry opened a structural engineering firm in a spare bedroom. Eileen took accounting classes at night so she could support his efforts, stepping ably (though not enthusiastically) into the roles of accountant, treasurer and office manager. As the business grew beyond the house and Jerry took on more employees, Eileen added “HR Director” to her job description, and she ensured each hire was treated like a family member, whether on staff for just a summer or 20 years. The business thrived for 35 years due to Jerry’s expertise as an engineer and leader and Eileen’s deft interpersonal and administrative skills. Her planning of office events and outings enhanced the company’s “family" culture and allowed her creative juices to flow. All the while, Eileen kept meticulous track of the books, often burning the midnight oil to reconcile them to the penny.
Despite her limited free time, Eileen reveled in her role as “Grandma” to her eight grandchildren, engaging them with fanciful cooking and art projects and indulging their desire for her focused attention. She volunteered at Huntington Hospital and served as a Wedding Coordinator at Westminster Presbyterian Church, where she and Jerry were active in the Tradewinds Sunday school group for over 30 years. She brought home-cooked meals to ailing friends and arranged flowers for countless parties and weddings. Eileen was a prolific artist, advancing her craft through participation in classes and art circles and continuing to produce beautiful watercolors well into her 80’s.
In 2012, Eileen and Jerry sold their Pasadena home of 48 years and relocated to a retirement community in Portola Valley, CA, only minutes from the Stanford Campus.
Their apartment in The Sequoias afforded access to a vibrant social milieu, prepared meals in the dining room, and no stairs whatsoever! With Brenda’s family, Jeff, and Stanford sports close by, it’s no wonder Eileen dubbed their new digs “Our Little Piece of Heaven.” She made friends quickly and found her niche organizing birthday parties and arranging flowers to the delight of the other residents. Eileen was quick to find kindred artistic spirits and spent hours in the art room “playing” (as she called it) on paper. Many a watercolor masterpiece resulted as she stopped to encourage each of her painting buddies with authentic praise for their work.
The social isolation of Covid-19 hastened the decline of Eileen’s short-term memory, and she was unable to resume many of the activities that gave her joy. She suffered a significant stroke in November, and less than two weeks later, with family at her bedside, she slipped peacefully into the arms of Jesus. Eileen will always be remembered for her contagious optimism, principled living, and determination to treat everyone around her as a valued child of God. She was a kind, loving, and devoted wife to her husband of 68 years. She was the embodiment of creativity, whimsy, and humor to her children, grandchildren, and just about everyone she met. “The earth has lost an angel, but Heaven has gained a star.”
Eileen is survived by her husband, three children, eight grandchildren, three great-grandchildren, and "Marmalade," her beloved cat. A Celebration of Life will be held on January 19, 2025, at 2:00 pm at Valley Presbyterian Church, 945 Portola Rd, Portola Valley, CA 94028. A live stream of the service will be available at youtube.com/@ValleyPresChurch/streams.